Mom, menopause and Melinda Gates is a potluck of topics, but theyre on my mind and heres how they come together
In the spirit of Mothers Day, I want to give a shout-out to my mom. And to all moms!
I love my mom. Throughout my life, she was the positive one, the one who let me be me, the one who lifted me up.
Here’s a photo of my mom and me last summer celebrating her and my Dads 50th wedding anniversary. This is us rocking a 6-mile hike up a popular ski mountain in Montana. I love this photo because it shows how spunky mom is.
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I was reminded of her last night when I went to see Melinda Gates on the final night of her book tour.
She recently published her memoir titled The Moment of Lift. Its a warm-hearted book about how Melinda was lifted and supported as a girl and how shes come to learn through her global work, that if you lift up women, you lift up humanity.
Amen!
She went on to state in her talk that we are in a window of lift for women and thats what moved her to write the book she’s been thinking about for some time.It got me thinking about how I was lifted by my mom throughout my life. She was the rock of support in our family. As so many moms are.
Its a woman-skill to be resilient and supportive for those around her, even when she doesn’t feel like it, or when she’s not feeling all that great physically or emotionally.
Here comes the menopause part
I think theres never a better time in a woman’s life than in midlife [and menopause] for women to lift other women up.
We need it. Our bodies, minds and souls are transforming into a better version of ourselves, but the journey makes us vulnerable.
Rather than asking other women around us if they’re having trouble sleeping, having unexplainable mood swings or struggling with sex. We look to our mothers menopause history as the tell-all for what were going through. But, there’s much more that plays into when and how we experience the change.
I challenge you on this Mothers Day weekend to seize this window of lift moment were in, reach out to another woman in your life and give her the boost she needs. It doesn’t have to be a heart-to-heart menopause talk, but relish in the female energy that connects us as women.
It’s amazing what lifting others up does for ones heart. I know for my mom, it was and is, still the thing she does bestand I hope her heart is full.
Happy Mothers Day.
Coughing, watery eyes, maybe wheezing a bit now and again? New food allergies, courtesy of perimenopause? Even menopause-induced hives?*
If these symptoms are new or feel worse than they have in the past, it could be your hormones to blame.
Like so many menopause mysteries, the research is lagging behind, so we don’t yet have definitive answers, but certainly many women report new or worsening symptoms of all of the above. And as women are more prone than men to asthma, and as many women report new allergies in perimenopause and menopause, a link between hormones and allergic disorders seems likely.
Wheezing, coughing, itching and burning skin? It might be time to talk with a menopause specialist. Book an appointment via Gennev telehealth, and get your questions answered.
Estrogen and Allergies / Inflammation
So what’s the link between menopause and allergies and asthma? Estrogen. That’s right, hormone imbalance allergies are a real thing.
As we know, there are estrogen receptors all over the body, including on immunoregulatory cells. And estrogen, it appears, may skew the body’s response toward allergy and inflammation. This is generally held in check by progesterone, but in perimenopause and menopause, when levels of progesterone are low, asthma, allergies, even hay fever may appear or get worse.
A study in Northern Europe included over 2,300 women and tracked their respiratory health from 2000 to 2012. They found the “odds of getting asthma were more than twice as high for women going through the menopausal transition or after menopause, compared to non-menopausal women.” That risk rose further for women who were overweight or obese.
When it comes to asthma specifically, it may actually be the fluctuation of estrogen levels that produce the inflammatory response in a woman’s airways. Many women may have noticed symptoms rising and falling in severity with period cycles or pregnancy, indicating hormones are at least in part responsible.
And we can tell fluctuating hormones play a role in triggering asthma, because often women who have irregular periods for reasons other than perimenopause have worse asthma symptoms than women who are more regular in their cycles.
Menopause And Allergies: So what to do?
Asthma and allergies can be frightening, particularly if they’re new or more dramatic than in the past. But there are things you can do to manage symptoms and catch an attack early.
Know your cycles. Maeve O’Connor, allergist and immunologist from Charlotte, NC, says, “Most hospitalizations for asthma in women occur around the peri-menstrual stage of the menstrual cycle as- right before a woman’s period begins. This is when estrogen levels drop down to almost zero.” When cycles are irregular, as in perimenopause, you may be able to tell if a period is coming by tracking lung power with a peak flow meter. If your lung power has dropped, a period may be on the horizon.
If you experience worsened asthma during your cycle (for those who are still experiencing periods), the medication you’re taking for menstrual pain can also make asthma more severe, so you may want to talk with a doctor about alternative pain relief that doesn’t increase inflammation.
Knowing your cycles can help you understand what’s happening in your body and stay calm when breathing gets more difficult. Tracking cycles can be difficult to do when periods begin to fluctuate along with changing levels of estrogen, however, so we strongly suggest women track as best they can. Keeping detailed records may help you begin to identify physical signals of an approaching period.
Use maintenance medications as prescribed. It’s better for your lungs to manage symptoms rather than treat an attack once it has started.
Know your triggers. And avoid them, obviously. This counts for both asthma and allergies and is especially important if you’re at a stage in your cycle when you may be more vulnerable to triggers.
Reduce exposure to allergens. Clean often. Dust (or get someone to dust for you). Change bedding frequently. Vacuum. Be vigilant about mold. The more you can keep dust and mites (ugh, we know) and other allergens to a minimum, the better.
Manage your weight. Perimenopausal and menopausal women who are overweight have a greater risk of developing respiratory issues, so controlling menopausal belly fat as best you can may help minimize risk.
Quit smoking. Obviously, smoking is an irritant to your respiratory organs, so quit if you can, reduce if you can’t.
Eat to reduce allergens. Avoid sulfites (preservatives in wine, pickles, dried fruit), eat less salt, and try to get more foods rich with omega 3s (nuts, seeds, cold-water fish). If you eat foods that may be triggering, reduce the amount and don’t exercise directly after when the results may be the worst.
Take vitamin D. According to James T C Li, M.D., Ph.D., “People with more-severe asthma may have low vitamin D levels,” so consider boosting your intake of milk, eggs, and fish such as salmon, and spending a little time outdoors. If you’re concerned you’re not getting enough vitamin D, a supplement can be a great way to boost your levels. Plus, it’s a great mood-booster if low-mood or low-energy are also issues for you.
Consider hormones. If asthma worsens to the point where it’s dangerous or limiting your life, you may want to consider hormone replacement. Again, this is an area where causes and effects are not well understood. In some women, HRT may worsen symptoms, particularly if the asthma is new. For women who have had asthma prior to menopause, HRT may help.
Seriously, if allergies are getting in the way of your life, a Gennev menopause-certified gynecologist can give you a trusted opinion, determine if medication is right for you, and they can provide prescription support. Book an appointment with a doctor here.
Women with asthma are hospitalized more often than men. Women’s mortality rates from asthma are significantly higher than men’s. But asthma is treatable. If you’re experiencing symptoms that could be asthma or allergies, talk with your doctor right away. Get started on a management plan that will make it easier for you to live your life your way.
And here’s a benefit: for women who suffered with asthma even before menopause, according to the Mayo Clinic, many of them could experience relief from asthma symptoms or severity after menopause.
Do you have hormone-related asthma or allergies? How have you handled your condition? Please share with us by joining the conversation in our community forums.
*This website is not intended to replace a doctor’s professional care. If you’re experiencing symptoms such as difficulty breathing, coughing, wheezing, etc., please consult with your doctor right away.
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“I’ve been dressing myself since I was four. Why is it suddenly so hard to do?”
Changing bodies, changing priorities, outdated notions of what’s “acceptable” to wear after 40 can all make it feel surprisingly difficult to dress yourself. And whether we like it or not, people do judge us on our appearance.
We can use that very human habit to our advantage, says Mellicia Marx, personal stylist and founder of the very cool Poplin Style Direction. Our clothes can be a tool to express ourselves and project the image we want to the world. You just have to know what that image is and how to achieve it.
What do you want your clothes to say about you?
Mellicia asks her clients for the three words they aspire to in their style as “confident, edgy, and feminine” or “boho, earthy, and relaxed,” whatever they may be as and from there they can build a closet that’s like a “boutique curated just for you.”
Sound good? Listen in to Mellicia’s ideas about fashion, body image, staying on budget, and feeling good enough to take on the world.
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For more great information from Mellicia, check out her tips on how to buy a better bra.
Are you comfortable in your clothes, both in fit and in fashion? We’d love to hear about how you make buying decisions. Do you, as Mellicia suggests, buy the dress, then find an event to show it off? Or are you a “dress for what’s next” kind of person? Fill us in on Facebook!
Talking about confidence, style, and fashion over 40
Jill: Mellicia, you’re a personal stylist, and if anyone hasn’t visited your website already, it’s Poplin Style. Explain what you do for your clients.
Mellicia: Yeah, I have an amazing job. I’m very fortunate. Basically, I listen to a woman, and I help her express herself through her clothes, and make sure that she’s communicating what she wants to, and she is seen. That’s really important to me, is really seeing her. We mesh that with her budget, her body type, her lifestyle, and we put that all together into a strategy for her to help her get ready every day.
Jill: The thing that really pops out for me, in what you say, is you want a woman to be seen. Explain that a little bit more, because I think that’s a really important point, especially as women age.
Am I invisible? Being seen when you’re a 40+ woman
Mellicia: Right, that’s a really important to me, I think, that’s very true, in midlife, but really, kind of at all times in your life. What’s kind of funny, I was thinking about this and thinking about what we were going to talk about today. Really thinking about, you’re younger, and you don’t have the confidence, you’re trying to kind of figure out your body, and who you are, and what’s going on with the world. And you get a little more confidence, then it comes, and goes, and as things keep hitting you, and then at midlife, something happens, and you’re kind of coming and going with the confidence, and it ends up being really challenging for someone to feel like they’re able to communicate who they are, and to have the world see them and hear them, in a way. You know, like you finish a conversation and say, “Were you even listening to me?’ You know what I mean? So, being able to have an impact on the conversation without even talking, I think is pretty awesome and powerful, and I find that the better you feel, the more confident you are in what you’re saying.
Jill: I think the essence of fashion, in our clothing, and how we identify, happens at really an early age. When you sit down with a woman for the first time, how do you start to talk about her relationship with her appearance, and her fashion, as a result?
Defining your style
Mellicia: Yeah, that’s a great question. It’s funny, because I have this very in-depth consultation process. We talk for about an hour, and I ask all these different questions. It’s funny, because a lot of the times, it will feel like I’m asking the same question, but I’m asking them in different ways, because it brings up different answers for people. And what’s also funny is sometimes I ask them a question, and I’m like, “It’s okay if you don’t have answers,’ but if I don’t ask, I don’t know what your answer is. I find that it’s pretty common for us to have this aspirational view, and it could be, with my client base, it’s not often a celebrity. If I ask them, “What celebrity do you identify with,’ they’re like, “I don’t know, I don’t follow that.’ But it’s often someone in their office, or a friend that they have, or a friend they say, “She always looks amazing, and I just want to look like that.’ It’s not necessarily the same clothes, but projecting the way she projects.
It’s more digging into those visuals to get that sense. You mentioned being younger, and having that how you connect with fashion, and really your presentation. I do find that this doesn’t come up in the initial conversations, but throughout the process, it’s very common that a lot of us have really internalized messages from someone in our life, at some point. I will have women where I’m like, “This is your body type,’ and they’re like, “No, no, no, I carry my weight here,’ and I’m like, “No, you don’t.’ It’s because their mom, or their friend, or their aunt, or someone told them when they were 14, that that’s where they carried their weight, and they can’t see themselves any differently.
I think it’s really important, I find, for us to challenge the assumptions we have about ourselves, and how we look in our bodies, but I also have found that that’s a real life lesson in how powerful our words are when we’re talking to someone else, and these kind of offhand comments can really stick with people for years.
Jill: What do you believe has given you this discerning eye for what works, or what doesn’t work, or the look that a woman wants to achieve? How does that flow into the honest conversation that you have with the women that you work with.
What makes a good stylist?
Mellicia: I have noticed, oftentimes, that when someone works in this industry, “¦ before I started being a stylist, I actually interviewed several women who had worked with stylists. What did you like, and what didn’t you like, and what was that experience, and so on and so forth. A lot of times, it was, “I felt like I couldn’t identify with her, and I have kids, and she came in in these stilettos, and that’s not my life.”
All these things, they were really struggling in that first place. I find that, for me, I have been very fortunate to as my background is actually in philanthropy, and I spent 20 years or more speaking in offices around the world, like, all over the place. I’ve worked in public sector, private sector, nonprofit as I’ve been everywhere. That’s ended up being an incredible strength for me with this job, because whenever I go to meet someone and it’s like, “What do you do?’ And they’re kind of mumbling; I say, “Oh, I’ve been there. I know what that office culture is like, I know how people interface,’ it’s not like I’ve been hidden away in a retail environment, and am watching the latest trends. Which is not a bad thing, if someone is doing that; it’s just a different need.
For my clients, I’m able to relate to them in that, and also, see what they see. Additionally, I’m not projecting my style onto them, and I think that’s really important. I tell them from the very beginning, I’m not trying to dress you like me; I don’t dress all my clients like one another, so if you look on my site, you will see that they have very different styles. Really, what I’m trying to do, is figure out who you are, what you want to project, and help guide you and give you some filters, so you can do this on your own. I feel that providing filters makes a huge difference.
Essentially, with every client, and women can do this at home, you don’t have to be a client of mine. I say, think of three words, that, when you walk into a room full of strangers, and it should be aspirational, so not what you look like now, not what people would say about you today, but when you’re going to a room full of strangers, you look amazing, you love what you’re wearing, you look great. What kind of words would they use to describe your style? So once you have those words, we have what your body type is, and we use those as filters, every time you go shopping by yourself, every time I do something for you, every time you look at something in your closet, and if you’re trying to say, “I’m confident, and a little bit edgy, and feminine,’ and you’re like, “Okay, does this say that to you?’ Most of the time, I’m not actually telling them that that doesn’t say that. It’s really, does it say it to you? And they’re like, “Well, no.’ Okay, so do you want to have it? That’s really up to them to decide.
Sometimes, they’ll say, “But I love it!’ And then I’ll say, oh, you love it? Let’s talk about that. It’s not edgy or the things you’ve said. Are you telling me that those words actually aren’t accurate, and we want to add in something that’s kind of, boho, because that’s what I’m getting from this? Or, is this nostalgia, or a comfort zone thing? So, let’s look at that.
Really, it’s all driven by the client. I’m sort of just an impartial observer. There’s that about the process.
Where do I get the discerning eye? I have just always been like this. I’ve always been the kind of person that, of course I would know all my friend’s shoe sizes and mail them shoes, like, why wouldn’t I do that? And of course, when I go to a family event, every person there has been dressed by me, like, who doesn’t do that? And, sort of, discovering that, that’s not a standard thing is really helpful.
Jill: It’s a special talent, yeah. Why is it that women need help in finding the clothing that makes them feel the way they want to?
Why do women find personal style difficult to define?
Mellicia: I think there are several different scenarios. One, I think is very common, and speaks to your readers, too, is your body has changed. So, oftentimes, it’s when someone has had a baby, or their weight has changed, or in midlife, I have clients who are going through menopause, and all of a sudden, they’re super busty, and have never been before. They’re just, kinda perplexed. Another thing that happens is when, “Oh, I’ve always felt very stylish. I’ve always felt like I know what I’m doing, and then all of a sudden, I feel like I’m too old for those clothes, but I’m too young to wear these clothes, and I don’t know what to do,’ or, “I’ve become bored, or uninspired.’ And something I see a lot, because I’m based in Seattle, we have a very educated population, so a lot of the women here have prided themselves on not caring about clothes, and shoes, and handbags. It’s like, “I’m serious, I’m getting stuff done, I’m reading, I’m doing all these things,’ and then all of a sudden one day they’re like, “It turns out, I do care about how I look, and I never wanted to tell anyone this before, but now I have the means, and I need help, and I’m going to talk to my friends, and it turns out they don’t know how to do it either, because they’re all in the same situation.’
So, it ends up that I’ll style one person, and I’ll end up doing their whole team at work, or a whole group of them, and you see that it’s actually a very common struggle, more than you guessed. It’s also really fun for me, because it shows I don’t dress them all the same. I’ll dress five women working on the same team, and you don’t want to send them all the same jacket, you know what I mean?
Jill: Oftentimes, women in midlife; so you talked about working with groups of women, and their bodies are changing, as they head into midlife through menopause. We often think about, certain clothing isn’t “proper” for that age. How do you address that question; I bet you get that a lot?
What about dressing yourself in midlife?
Mellicia: I do get it a lot, because I get the words that people say, “I want to be edgy, confident, whatever,’ and then the word “age appropriate” comes up a lot. So, what does that mean to me? I think about that a lot. I have this amazing client, and she is in her 60s, and she works with rock musicians, she’s a voice coach. As she gets older, things change, and then she’s like, “But I’m working with rock stars, I’m not this old person, what do I do?’ So, finding that happy medium”¦. I think, I mean, there are some things that are just inappropriate, but that may be because of age or maybe not, but that’s more inappropriate to the situation. In general, I think the bigger problem is that women, I don’t know if men do this, but I really see it with women, is that there’s this whole obsession with the age appropriateness; “Am I too old for this?’ It’s like, we have a long way to go, and if you’re too old at this age, and you’ve got another how-ever-many years, what are you going to wear then?
So I think a lot about this. So, I got my nose pierced a couple weeks ago with my nieces and nephews, because I’m a good role model. But it was a really funny conversation I had with someone after, like, I’m 43 years old, and I’m getting my nose pierced. I think the standard thought on that, is maybe that’s a little too old for something like that. Well, I could be alive another 30-40 years. Am I going to be 60, and wish I had really done that? Kind of like, looking back and saying, “I wish I’d had another baby,’ and you can’t do it at some point. I think a lot of times, people “¦ we think we’re too old, or we think we’re too heavy, or we think we’re showing something we shouldn’t be showing. And that’s not the case; it’s all our own conversations. I think something that can be really helpful for an individual woman is to look back at photos of herself, and try, if she keeps a journal or something, to see how she viewed herself at that time. It’s often very flawed, like, “I’m a little heavy,’ and you look back and go, “Wow, I looked amazing.’ So, you know “¦ embrace it.
Jill: That’s amazing how you look back at something, and when you look at yourself, you think you look so much better than you did at the time. Or you say, “What was I thinking with that hair?!’
Mellicia: But you looked awesome, and at that time, you know what I mean? That’s a really key point about style, and I had this conversation with people a lot. They’re like, “Classic,’ and I’m like okay, there are more looks that are classic and timeless, but is it so wrong to be of the era you live in? You may decide that you don’t want to be in that, and that’s a totally valid choice, but choose it. Don’t be afraid to embrace whatever it is.
Jill: It also sounds like a lot of your work is all about self expression vs. doing what you think others think you should be doing, or doing what’s “right or wrong.” How do you break that mindset around being confident in your own self expression, and dressing that way, vs. dressing in the way others think you should dress?
Mellicia: Right, I think that’s important, but I think part of that, too, is also being aware of how other people interpret what you’re wearing. You can’t just be like, “I love this! Who cares what people think?’ People are making judgements, and that’s happening. You want to be in control of the judgments that they’re making, so if you have the power to influence someone in that way, why wouldn’t you?
Jill: How about you as a professional? Have you ever run into a client that you didn’t feel you were a good fit for? What kind of chemistry do you have to have with the women you work with?
Mellicia: You know what’s funny? That’s only happened twice, in all the years. I do think it’s really important that we connect with each other. You know what’s really funny? I always tell people that the consultation is really just an hour where the woman is trying to decide if she can get naked in front of me. Once she’s comfortable, then we move forward. That’s all it is. [Laughter]
Jill: Your clients probably put so much trust in you, so you have to have some sort of relationship where that trust can exist. What are some specific things that you kind of, tell women, broadly, that they should keep in mind as they shop? Especially if they’re on a budget. Can you go through those?
Mellicia: Yes, of course. To me, the basis of everything I do is those style keywords. Developing those for yourself, either with me, or by yourself. Knowing your body type, and how to dress for that body type. So, once you have those keywords, then every time you walk in, once you know how to dress your body type, every time you walk in a store, things are kind of filtered for you. If it doesn’t communicate any of those words, and it’s not flattering for your body, you don’t even need to pick it up. You just keep on moving. So that will make it so you have significantly fewer things that you try on, in the first place. That’s going to make for a much better experience.
The things I have people do, is I have people think of someone in their professional life, that has an impact on their future and their career. Think of a very specific person, not just “somebody.’ Then, I find a lot of times, people will be willing to do more, to go to work, or to go to wherever, but, “Oh, this is just at home. This is just this Saturday.’ Whatever. So I say to them, if you got up late on a Sunday, you’re running to the market to get milk, and you happen to run into that person wearing this, how would you feel? And if you’re like, “I feel great,’ then it’s fine. So, I think that’s a great Litmus test, and it’s also really helpful to find one piece in your closet that you really love and feel amazing in. Everything you buy needs to make you feel as good as that makes you feel. Why would you buy something new that’s not as great as something you already have?
Jill: That’s a great mindset, especially when you start to fall into this habit of, “It’s on sale, it’s a really good deal.’ Let’s talk about money and budget. Do you work as how do you as do you work with clients on an unlimited budget, or how do you help your clients also think about budget?
Fashion on a budget
Mellicia: I definitely work with people with a budget, of all levels. It’s actually really fun for me. I tell people from the very beginning, I am as comfortable at Forever 21 and H&M as I am at Barney’s and Beyond and there’s no judgement here. What matters to me, is that we’re honest with each other, because I never want to send something that makes you feel like, “Oh god, I can’t handle that, I can’t afford that,’ because this experience should be fun, and empowering, and make you feel good. If there’s a moment when you start to not feel good, then we’re not in a win. So, we talk very openly about that. I also think it’s really important to as part of being seen is respecting your values. I think it’s really important to respect who you are, and for me to respect who you are. Maybe you’re someone who’s really into minimalism, maybe you don’t believe in buying new things. Maybe you want to focus your money more on your kids’ education; you think that’s more important with your money; that’s great. There are ways to do that.
I have a lot of clients where we go thrift store shopping, we never go to a new store, and I get the tailor to come over, and we just transform things, and that can save a ton of money, and make you feel amazing.
I also think it’s great to know where you, if your weight fluctuates, if you know where it fluctuates, then to shop accordingly. For instance, it’s very common for women to be, I call it the triangle body shape, or the pear shape where you carry your weight on the bottom. If you carry your weight on the bottom, and your weight goes up and down, that means that your jeans maybe won’t fit next month, that fit now, or throughout the month. Don’t spend all your money on something that is not going to fit in a few weeks. Think about how your body will change, and invest your money in things that are going to work for that.
Jill: What if someone’s not local? Do you work with women that aren’t local?
Mellicia: Yeah, that’s a great question. Actually, it’s kind of this beautiful time that we’re talking about all of this. What’s happened to me, over the years, is that I feel like I discovered how many women really need this more than I think I anticipated at the beginning. I find that I’m sort of maxed out, where I can’t get to all of the people, then I have this big waitlist, then I feel badly, because people are waiting, and I want to help them, and it’s kind of a whole thing. Also, because, as part of my brand, but also me as a person, I believe very strongly in work/life balance. I have a family, and I do a ton of volunteer work. So, finding the way to integrate all of those things means that I can’t be working all the time, regardless of how meaningful that is.
Instead, I’ve shifted the business to have it go toward offering those resources to the masses as opposed to one on one clients locally, which has made a big difference for me. I do a lot on the blog, I have a really strong blog community. Same with my newsletter, so people can engage with me that way. On Pinterest, I have are different boards for their body types, and I have new pieces going up all the time, so they can just shop those. And then, I have books that are going to be coming out in the next couple of months, and there will be a book on each body type, and just this exhaustive description of how to dress for your body type. Then, once you’re understanding what your keywords are, and you know your body type, you have the ability to move forward on your own.
Since the very beginning, I’ve worked very hard to build a community, as opposed to just having clients; I always tell them, “once a client, always a client,” so it’s been really nice for me, I think, and nice for them.
Fashion resources from Mellicia
Jill: You mentioned a couple resources there. How do people find your blog, and I think you also said the Pinterest page. Is it private, or is it public? What parts of private, and what parts are public?
Mellicia: It’s all public, and it’s all “¦ PoplinStyle.com is my website, and then you can get to everything from the website. Pinterest, also, it’s PoplinStyle on Pinterest also, and then the blog is on the website, so it’s all really easy. When people sign up in the first place for the newsletter, they get six weeks of style tips that come directly to their inbox. It kind of kicks you off with a lot of the details; how to shop for shoes, bras, these are the kind of things to take care of, and all that kind of stuff.
Jill: I, for one, have gone out to look at your Instagram, and everything, and it’s beautiful. It’s like a work of art, and so, your eye for fashion and the kinds of women you’re working with, it’s so apparent there. I think, wow, sign up for the newsletter; you get six weeks of tips?
Mellicia: Yep, six weeks to start you off, and I send out a newsletter anyway, so there’s as I try very much to be very respectful of people, so I’m not just sending them stuff all the time. We’re about to launch a giveaway; a $300 gift card for Universal Standard, which is one of my favorite brands; they do size 10 and up, and I love them. I do a lot of giveaways to my readers.
Jill: Is there any question, as we start to wind this down, that I haven’t asked you, that you think every woman should know, or you get a lot from with the women you work around their fashion, their appearance, just projecting the kind of image they want to project?
Mellicia: I think a kind of, part of it, I know it’s uncomfortable, and sometimes it can be scary, but don’t be afraid to admit to yourself, what you wish you looked like, or what you wish you were projecting, and taking steps to get there. I’ve provided a lot of online resources to help you get there, but “¦
I have this client of mine; so beautiful. Her husband had purchased the package as a gift for her, and it took her two years to redeem the package. I know! So, I bumped her ahead of the waitlist; because, well, you paid for it a long time ago! She’s a doctor, and she was in this sort of weird, okay”¦when people get a gift, they’re a bit more tentative; even if they want it, they haven’t gotten to the headspace to be able to say out loud, “I want to do this, and it’s something that’s a struggle for me.’ We get to that place, and we do the closet edit, and the closet edit can be a really emotional experience for people. I often as at the beginning I don’t think I realized how intense that is for someone, because you form a bond with your clothes. You remember where you bought them, or how it made you feel. Oftentimes, there’s a lot of baggage there too, you’re putting things on to hide yourself, or because you think it’s appropriate, or you’re afraid that your family won’t approve. There’s all these things tied up in our clothes.
So, to go through that is pretty intense. She was pretty resistant; she was great, but she was resistant, which doesn’t happen that often to me. So, I was kind of like, okay, let’s see how it goes, everybody’s personality is different. Then she sent this beautiful email that night, and she said, “This was a really transformational day, and I appreciated your patience,’ but then she said, “I always tell my daughters to embrace the growth mindset, and I realize that I need to do that with fashion and style, and I need to be able to do that.’ I think women, especially professional women, we read all these things: the “growth mindset’ is the buzzword right now, and if you have kids, that’s something that’s coming up. There’s all these things we apply to all these other aspects of our lives, and we’re willing to put that time into our relationships or our kids, or our career, or with our house, and ways we want to improve, and we’re afraid to look in the mirror and say, “what is it I want and how hard is it to get there?’
Going shopping in your own house
Jill: Even if there’s a piece of clothing you always wanted to get back into, so many people keep those around as a motivator. How do you address that?
Mellicia: My general feeling is, everything in your closet, it should fit right now, it should make you feel amazing, it should communicate what your style is, and it should be functional for your life. If it’s not those things, it should not be in your closet. You should lay in bed, you should roll over, you should look at your closet, and it should be like a boutique curated just for you, and everything’s color coordinated, and it makes you so happy, and you just can’t wait to put it on, and you know? If you’re not feeling that way, there are things in there that shouldn’t be in there. Even if you only have 20 things; if they’re all a success, you’re going to feel a whole lot better each day.
The pieces that are too small, but you love them, and they communicate your style, and you can’t wait till someday to wear this again? That’s fine. Put them all together, and put them somewhere else in your house, that you don’t see them, and that’s your too-small pile. Then you have the things you love, and they’re amazing, and you can’t part with them, but they’re too big? That’s fine. You put them somewhere else in your house, and that’s your too-big pile. And let me just tell you, when your weight fluctuates, and you feel like you could fit into those, you go shopping in your other closet, and you find these too small things, it’s a revelation. But, if you find that you’re never going in that closet, then after a while, you get rid of that box and never look in it again.
You don’t want to have that conversation with yourself every day. You don’t ever want to wear something that is digging into your waist, let’s say, because that’s probably where you carry your weight, which is why your jeans, or your tights are digging in. Every day, whenever you adjust that, you’re having this self talk, telling you, “I need to lose weight, these haven’t worked out,’ or however your body has changed.
You’re not the problem. The clothes are the problem. Someone’s job is to make clothes for you. If they didn’t make the right clothes, they have failed. You have not failed. This is not on you. So, you want to just be sure that you’re only wearing things that make you feel good, and if something doesn’t fit, and it’s digging into you, it’s not making you feel good. And if you’re looking in your closet every day and seeing something that makes you feel like you failed in some way, that needs to go.
One thing I hear all the time is, “I love that,” Someone will go shopping and say, “look at that dress, or jumpsuit, but I don’t have anywhere to wear that.’ I feel very strongly about this, that you buy the dress to create the occasion. You do not buy the occasion, like, have the occasion and go find a dress. If you think this is amazing and it’s some crazy formal gown, or a cocktail dress, or something that you have no reason, then you go home, you get on the Internet, and you find somewhere you need to go. If you let that drive your life, things are going to be so much more interesting. You’re going to end up doing things you never thought you’d do, or going places you never thought you’d go, just because of the clothing choices you’ve made. It’s another way to not let fear hold you back, and embrace what you see. If you love it, do it, and find a place that you’re going to feel comfortable wearing it, and also, if you’re going to take any fashion risks, do them in a safe space. Do them with someone you know is going to be supportive of you, and say nice things to you, and don’t start out on a journey going out of your comfort zone in a room full of people that you know are going to criticize you.
Jill: Or, do it in an anonymous place, like, going to New York City, you can kind of reinvent yourself because you’re in amongst a lot of strangers.
Mellicia
Quick menopause quiz: midlife menopause or thyroid problem? Actually, it’s kind of a trick question: all of these symptoms can be caused by menopause OR thyroid dysfunction.* Because menopause and thyroid disease can look a lot alike, all too often women who are dealing with thyroid problems like hypo- or hyperthyroidism are told “it’s just menopause” or “you’re just getting older.” To make matters even more complicated, women in midlife are more prone to thyroid disease, increasing the chances that “it’s just menopause” is actually “just an incomplete diagnosis.” Yes, it might be “just menopause.” But what if it’s not? If you would like to discuss your functional thyorid medicine options, a Gennev menopause-certified gynecologist can give you a trusted opinion, determine if medication is right for you, and they can provide prescription support. Book an appointment with a doctor here. Thyroid disease can have serious and lasting health impacts if left untreated. So we asked Dr. Kate Kass, a functional medicine physician who specializes in hormonal health, to talk about the differences in symptoms, how to test for thyroid disease, and what we can do to optimize our health under any circumstances. “ “ Jill: First of all, thank you, Dr. Kate, for joining us today for a deeper conversation about I think, functional medicine. Why don’t you just explain a little bit about your practice and what you do, because I think it’s really unique, especially around functional medicine and age management. Kate: Sure. I have a functional medicine practice, and for maybe those who aren’t familiar with that term, “functional medicine,’ it is really pretty congruent with naturopathic medicine, which I think maybe people in the Northwest are a little bit more familiar with. But, it really just means that, you know, we’re using all the best science, and data, and lab testing from conventional medicine and really combine that with a whole-body, whole-person approach, and an individualized approach. So, really we’re trying to find the root cause of disease and what’s going on. And rather than just treat a symptom, really trying to help people find harmony, figure out why they might be experiencing some constellation of symptoms and get to the root cause of those problems. And oftentimes that’s a pretty individualized approach too, it’s not a one-sized-fits-all. Jill: Within functional medicine, you’ve got a few specialties. You specialize in women’s health and aging, you specialize in sexual wellness, you specialize in men and aging. Can you talk a little bit about how you landed on these specialties and why these? Kate: You know, hormones were something that I was fascinated with, and I was fascinated between that connection between hormones and gut and brain symptoms. And, you know, the population that has most hormone imbalance are men and women that are sort of over the age of 40-45, and with those hormone changes came sexual dysfunction, whether that be erectile dysfunction or women having sexual changes as they got older. It was a necessary area that I needed to understand better, and also just so important to quality of life. So, that became something that I specialized in also; it’s great, adjunctive care. Jill: Can you share a little bit about your own personal story? Because I think that’s what has sparked your passion and your interest in this part of medicine. Kate: Yeah, I was “¦ probably at the end of high school and the beginning of college, and through my mid-twenties”I was struggling with some sort of a strange constellation of symptoms myself. I was diagnosed with the beginnings of osteoporosis, or osteopenia. I had stopped having my period, and I was having all this fatigue, and anemia, and anxiety, sort of this strange constellation of symptoms that I think at the doctor’s office no one really thought was connected. And I really wasn’t getting a lot of support, honestly. I think I had seen probably three or four doctors by the time I was in my, you know, early twenties, and really they just put me on birth control and some osteoporosis medication, and just sort of band-aiding these symptoms that I was experiencing. And I was pretty miserable, and pretty strange symptoms to be experiencing for someone so young. It wasn’t until I was, I think twenty-six, when I ended up seeing a functional medicine doctor who sort of put it all together for me. I had what they believe was an auto-immune gut issue that was related to foods that I was eating. What happened was most of my symptoms resolved, and I know that sounds sort of wild to think that just healing your gut is going to resolve things like osteoporosis, and anemia, and hair loss, and anxiety, but it really was pretty profound for me, changing those symptoms and figuring out what was going on in my GI tract. At that point I decided, you know, that I needed to go into a more integrated medical practice. I needed to find an integrated medical school, and so I ended up switching. I had originally thought I was going to go to a conventional medical school, but I ended up switching. I just, I had to. It was what “¦. My personal beliefs at that point really aligned with integrated medical school. Jill: One thing that when you talk about what you do that really intrigues me is you say it’s the relationship between the gut and the mind. Can you talk a little bit more about the mind and how that connects into people’s health? Because I don’t think we naturally think about anything controlled by our head or our mind. Kate: Yeah, this is a really hot topic of medicine right now, actually. And even in the conventional world and you know, big medical journals, there’s so many studies coming out connecting the gut and microbiome to our cognitive function. It really impacts it in several ways. One, we need to absorb nutrients properly to make neuro-transmitters, right? For our cognitive function and for, you know, even things like mood and anxiety. You know, and I think the statistic that gets thrown around a lot, you know, they say that 80 percent of our serotonin for instance starts at the gut level. So, it really is imperative for our gut to be operating well for us to have good neuro-transmitter function. But now there’s even more literature around leaky gut and inflammation, and inflammation’s impact on things like dementia, and depression and anxiety. Really, depression and anxiety in particular, inflammation’s been closely tied to that. And so, I think we’ll probably get into this later in the podcast, but if you have leaky gut, or gut issues going on, you’re going to have more inflammation which is going to then potentially impact things like depression, anxiety, even things like dementia. It was interesting because I think a lot of patients come in they think, “oh, this is just an alternative medicine kind of idea.” But a couple docs that I generally will refer patients to, one is named Dale Bredesen: he’s a researcher at UCLA. He’s one of the head researchers on Alzheimer’s disease, and he recently came out with a book called The End of Alzheimer’s Disease, and he talks specifically about dietary changes and the ability to change your diet and actually reverse symptoms of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, which no drug has ever been able to do. And I would say also even a couple of days ago I was reading the journal of neurology at Neurology Times, which is a very conservative journal, and they posted an article about the connection between microbiome”which is our gut bacteria”and Parkinson’s disease. So, they said that the microbiome had specific changes that increase your risk for Parkinson’s disease. So, this gut-brain connection, the gut-brain axis, is a really exciting area of medicine. And I would say also empowering for people too, especially people that might suffer from depression or anxiety, or even have a family risk for Alzheimer’s disease, so it’s just a really cool area of medicine, and something you have control over too. Jill: So, you use the term “leaky gut,’ and this is also kind of a new term. Can you just explain to the listeners what that means, because it’s a really important thing that I think consumers are beginning to understand. Kate: Yeah, leaky gut is actually something that was really established by a Harvard medical doctor, so again kind of a conventional doc. His name is Alessio Fasono, he’s a Harvard gastroenterologist that focuses on pediatric care. Leaky gut is when the lining of our gut gets compromised and it allows things to pass through when they’re not supposed to pass through. So, we’re supposed to have really tight little sections in the gut that only selectively let things through when they’re broken down properly, or selectively let through molecules or particles when they’re meant to go through into our bloodstream. The lining of our gut can become compromised for a lot of reasons, from chemicals or pesticides in our food, from even certain types of foods that are aggravating or inflammatory to people. And that lining of our gut starts letting through particles, and chemicals, and proteins that it’s not supposed to let through. And this is really important because it can actually create systemic inflammation and it can trigger the immune system to react, to overreact I would say, and this is important as it pertains to thyroid dysfunction too. hear holistic health coach Amanda Giralmo’s thoughts on food, stress, inflammation and feeding a healthy gut Jill: Why don’t you talk a little bit about thyroid, because how does thyroid fit into all of this? January happens to be thyroid awareness month. Can you explain how thyroid fits into head, gut biome, and your overall functional health? Kate: Hypothyroid specifically is a really common issue, particularly for women. I think women are about five to eight times more likely to get thyroid dysfunction than men. And I think it’s about one in, I think it’s one in twelve women are going to have a thyroid issue, so about 12 percent of the population they say. Thyroid symptoms can be anything from fatigue and brain fog, hair loss, weight gain or inability to lose weight, even mood changes like anxiety and depression. It’s a lot of these symptoms that I think sometimes people just attribute to aging, so for that reason I think a lot of times this dysfunction is overlooked. Most thyroid issues for women are actually auto-immune, which in conventional medicine they don’t necessarily distinguish. And part of that is because conventional medicine says if you’ve got a thyroid problem, we just treat you with thyroid medication and it doesn’t really matter that much if it’s an auto-immune thyroid problem or not. I would argue that it is important to know if it’s an auto-immune thyroid problem, because it does change the way we treat thyroid issues. And so, you know, it’s really two-fold. One, we want to find out if you have a thyroid problem, right, and make sure that you’re being diagnosed properly. And then two, once you’re diagnosed we want to find out if it’s an auto-immune thyroid problem, because that is going to actually change part of the way we treat your thyroid issue. If you do have a thyroid issue and it is auto-immune”which is about 90 percent of women with hypothyroid have this auto-immune thyroid problem called Hashimoto’s“and if it is an auto-immune thyroid problem then we really want to investigate how the gut impacts that auto-immune thyroid issue. Because again, if you have an auto-immune thyroid problem, having compromised gut health is going to really flare that thyroid issue. Jill: A lot of the thyroid issues that you named off sound like what women experience in menopause, or as their hormones change. How do you differentiate them? Kate: That’s a great question and something I wanted to mention, because all those symptoms I just described”weight gain, brain fog, mood changes, low energy”all these symptoms are so commonly attributed to quote-unquote “aging,” that’s just part of getting older, which is so unfair to women. What I tell women is, you know, be persistent, listen to your gut about these things, figuratively and literally I guess. But listen to your intuition: if you don’t feel right and you don’t think it’s normal, then make sure that you find someone who’s going to help you investigate that thoroughly. And in my clinic what I tell women is, “yes, maybe you have some perimenopause/menopause symptoms going on, but it’s so common to have thyroid symptoms in conjunction with that, that we want to thoroughly investigate whether you have a thyroid issue, because they can be compounding, right?” So, there are two separate issues that need to be addressed, and I would say women, make sure you’re finding someone who’s thoroughly checking your thyroid. And I would say that’s the number one problem is that women are not finding a doc that will look at, you know, this big thyroid panel. They’re only looking at one marker, sometimes two markers for thyroid dysfunction. Jill: And so, for thyroid you’re taking a panel or a blood test, essentially. Kate: You want to find a doctor who’s going to look at both of your free thyroid hormones and your TSH, and your thyroid antibodies, and sometimes even something called reverse T3. So, you just want to have a really big, full picture of what’s going on with your thyroid: the TSH is not enough. And I would say most conventional docs, if you’re just seeing your primary medical care doctor, they are only testing your TSH. And so, what I see a lot is that women are suffering from thyroid issues/thyroid symptoms, were like, “oh my gosh, I go online and I read and I’m just like a poster child for thyroid dysfunction, but I’ve gone to my doctor twice and both times they told me “your thyroid looks perfectly fine.” Well, at that point you either need to go back to doc and say, “hey, can you please test these other markers for thyroid?” or find another functional medical doctor somewhere, or a naturopathic physician somewhere. You need as big a picture as possible, and at that point when they get that broader picture, that’s often when we figure out, “oh yeah, actually you do have hypothyroid. You have auto-immune hypothyroid, actually. And so, all of those symptoms you’re experiencing really make sense now.” Jill: You obviously probably get a lot of patients who have tried a traditional route, haven’t had success, they’ve come to you. After you’ve done this testing and you realize that they’ve got, you know, a hypothyroid issue or the auto-immune version of it, how do you go about like, prescribing a better course to feeling better? What does that look like? Kate: If you just have this, you know, very beginnings of a thyroid dysfunction, if you’re really mild, sometimes even just by changing some lifestyle and diet things, we can reel you back in without needing medication. But, however, in a lot of circumstances women do need some thyroid medication supplement. Let’s say that you find out you have hypothyroidism, and then you find out also that you have auto-immune hypothyroidism, right? That means that you have antibodies, so your body’s little immune system is attacking your thyroid tissue, right? You not only potentially need to supplement with some thyroid medication, but you also need to stop your body from attacking its thyroid tissue, right? The coolest part about having an auto-immune hypothyroid condition is that you can actually reverse some of that auto-immunity, or at least slow it down. One of the main ways that you can slow down auto-immunity, or have your immune system sort of calm down, is through diet and gut repair. So, two foods that most commonly flare hypothyroid/auto-immune hypothyroid are gluten and dairy. Those two actually stimulate your immune system to attack your thyroid tissue through something called molecular mimicry. I think if you went online you could go dive a little deeper there if you want to learn more. Another thing that you want to do is lower your toxic burden because again, auto-immune thyroid is all about allowing your immune system to rest again so it’s not on high alert. In auto-immune thyroid your immune system’s gone rogue, so we’re trying to reel things back in, allow your immune system to relax again. So, what flares your immune system? Foods like gluten and dairy, but also toxins in our environment flare your immune system, right? So, that means toxins in our water like chlorine, and fluoride, and bromide. That means toxins from skin care products that we put on our body flare our immune system. Pesticides in foods flare our immune system. So, what I tell patients is, you know, in addition to changing your diet, you also want to reduce that toxic burden the best you can. Now, we live in an environment where we can’t live in a bubble. We’re always going to be exposed to these things on some level, but you can make some decisions and choices about how to reduce that load by eating organic when you can, being cognizant of the body care products you put on your body, you know, drinking filtered water, things like that. At the end of the podcast I’ll give you a couple of resources of books that I think can help women arm themselves with more details on this. So, you know, summarizing here: you want to repair your gut, remove those foods that aggravate auto-immunity. You want to reduce your toxic burden. And then you also want to relieve stress, because our thyroid is really puppeted by our brain, right? So, our brain, and our pituitary and hypothalamus gland actually tell our thyroid what to do. So, if we’re under a lot of stress, our body actually will signal our thyroid to slow down, because it says, “hey, we’re under a lot of stress.” Whether that’s physiological stress or psychological stress, your brain doesn’t always know the difference. It just says, “hey body, start conserving, slow down. And we don’t know what’s going on, but we’re under a lot of stress so we don’t our thyroid, we want to conserve things.” And our thyroid’s our engine, our thyroid is what, you know, makes our metabolism work faster, what allows us to utilize energy and burn fuel, and burn fat. So, if you’re under a lot of stress, your brain tells your thyroid to slow things down, right? So, you know, you could be on the perfect diet and the perfect medication, but if you’re under an incredible amount of stress that thyroid isn’t going to work optimally, right? So, you want to relieve stress. And then lastly”this is a little trickier, maybe stuff you can’t do quite as well on your own, you might need a functional medicine doctor to do this”but lastly is you want to treat infections or viruses. So, this sort of goes back to the optimizing the immune function. A lot of women with thyroid or hypothyroid issues have some concomitant infections going on, and some of those are gut infections, like candida or SIBO, and sometimes those are viral infections like Epstein-Barr virus or even some of the herpes viruses. So, again going back to immune system’s impact on the thyroid, if you have these other infections going on, it can actually cause immune compromise and affect your thyroid also. So, you know, just to summarize again, five things: repair your gut, optimize your diet, reduce or lower your toxic burden, relieve stress, and then figure out if you have any of those infections going on. can an unhealthy thyroid make your ears ring? why, yes. yes it can. and so can menopause. Jill: And that’s all something you can get done with a functional medicine doctor. Obviously, that’s something that you’re doing for your patients every day. Kate: That’s right. And some of that you can actually have your conventional doc do for you. Some are more amenable than others to testing, you know, doing a broader test for thyroid, it just sort of depends on your relationship with your primary care doctor. But, a functional medicine doctor or a naturopathic physician could definitely do those things for you. And I would say a lot of those things you could even do on your own, you know, like the gut, the diet, the lowering the toxins, the stress piece, those you can all do on your own. You might need a little bit more support when you start diving into the testing for infections piece. Jill: I have to ask the question around gluten and dairy, because it’s a fad, it’s everywhere. If a woman suspects she’s maybe got some thyroid issues, or she’s just not feeling very good, is lowering the amount of the intake good enough? Or do you have to completely take it out of the diet for it to have an impact? Kate: This is a question that I sort of dread getting, honestly, but it’s an important question. If you know for sure you have auto-immune hypothyroid symptoms, if you know you for sure you have Hashimoto’s, which is the auto-immune thyroid issue, right”or even Graves’ disease which is an auto-immune thyroid issues also”unfortunately eating gluten and dairy actually flares those antibodies that attack your thyroid tissue, right? And it takes three months for those antibodies to go away. So, that means if you’re someone who just eats gluten or dairy once a week, or you know, once every couple of weeks, you’re never giving your body’s antibodies a chance to lower. So, I hate to say it, but it is true. I think at least in the very beginning you need to be really strict and allow your immune system to go off that red alert, to calm down and for those antibodies to come down. Would reducing those things help on some level? Of course. Do I think it’s important to strictly avoid those at least for three months? I think that’s important, and if you are someone with an auto-immune thyroid condition, it’s probably something you’re going to have to steer away from pretty strictly indefinitely. And what I tell patients to, is once we get them really stable and on medication”you know if they’re on a thyroid medication and we’ve also got their thyroid stable, and they have done a diet for three months or something where they’ve avoided gluten/dairy strictly and they’re feeling much better”then I say if you want to dip your toe in the water and see how you feel”¦. Once in a while someone can eat a little bit of gluten or dairy once in a while and they’re okay, but people figure out what their threshold is pretty fast. So, you know, I would say some people, some women will say, “even a little bit of gluten or dairy is going to throw me over the edge and I’m going to feel crappy for a couple of weeks or more.” But I would say from an antibody standpoint, you’ve got to avoid pretty strictly: again, it takes three months for those antibodies to come down. Jill: We’ve been talking about thyroid in particular, and gut, and how your mind works with your body, but you also talk a lot about, in your practice, age management, which is such a huge sphere. Can you just talk to that a little bit? And how even what we’ve been talking about factors into that, because everybody wants to stay as young as they can and manage the speed at which they grow older. What do you mean by age management? Kate: Well I hate that term “anti-aging,’ I really don’t like it. I think it’s sort of become a buzz word and ultimately, I think it has sort of a negative connotation in my mind, “anti-aging.’ But age management just simply means allowing us to sort of feel our best at any age. It means, you know, we come up against different health challenges as we get older, and it’s about figuring out what those health challenges are and overcoming them. And replacing what needs to be replaced when it needs to be replaced. And allowing you to have freedom to do all the things you love to do. And really that’s what it’s about for me, is freedom I think, it’s patience. Especially as someone who has struggled with health issues before I would say, you know, when you’re struggling with health or changes in the way you feel, or energy, or brain fog, or mood, you know, you’re losing your freedom. You’re losing your freedom to be present with your family, to do your job, to go out for a jog, you’re losing the freedom to do the things you love to do. And so, what I mean by age management is just tackling those problems that come up as we get older, optimizing hormone health, optimizing thyroid function, optimizing gut and immune system, and allowing you to have the freedom to do what you want to do as you get older. And it’s sort of depressing to me that I think a lot of patients go into their doctor’s office with symptoms like fatigue, or weight gain, or even you know, low mood or brain fog, and doctors often say, “oh you’re just getting older, or you’re stressed, those are just normal symptoms.” I really don’t accept that. It really irks me, I don’t accept that. Not from a personal level, and I don’t want to accept that for my patients either. And I would say clinically speaking, if people find the right answers and they really advocate for themselves and find the right doctors, they don’t have to accept that. Jill: I think that’s so encouraging because, you know, people want to feel as great as they can, especially”I know the women that we work with, specifically with Gennev and the community”everyone’s looking for ways to not be subject to the things that are impacting their bodies as they do age. And so, managing that I think is just really incredibly important. Kate: A lot of women that have auto-immune thyroid, or hypothyroidism in general, when they finally get it figured out and they find the right formula and they heal their gut, women will tell me they’ve felt better than they’ve felt in decades and decades. So, you know, women oftentimes have been struggling with thyroid issues that are sort of sneaky thyroid issues that A: haven’t been treated properly or B: haven’t been discovered, for decades, and they just thought, “oh this is just me.” And when you get it really dialed in, women will feel better than they’ve felt in, you know, in decades they’ll say, which I think is really inspiring. Jill: You mentioned earlier a few resources that you often recommend for patients, or for women and men to read. What are those resources? Kate: I often recommend patients go to Dr. Amy Myers. She’s a doc out of Texas, she’s a functional medicine doc. She doesn’t see any more patients, but she has written two books: one called The Auto-Immune Solution and one called The Thyroid Connection, and she is very in alignment with everything I just said and those books really dive into detail, and actually even help guide you to find doctors that put your needs and teach you how to ask for what you need to ask for. So, again The Thyroid Connection and The Auto-Immune Solution by Dr. Amy Myers. Her website also has got great blogs on it, but I think that information is empowering. And, you know, you can find a functional medicine doctor in your area, or even a naturopathic physician doctor in your area. Both of those kinds of docs are going to be more equipped to do kind of deeper testing. Jill: Dr. Kate, do you take patients from all over the United States, or just particularly local to the Pacific Northwest where you’re located? Kate: I do. I have patients from all over the place, you know, I have patients in Boston, I have patients in Mexico, Canada, all over the place. I need to establish care physically with a person face-to-face first, once. And then at that point I can often do tele-medicine, and I try to get patients in once a year to see them face-to-face. Jill: Well, it has been a pleasure having you. There’s so much more I know we could go into, but you’ve given, I think, us a wonderful education specifically on thyroid health. But people can find you at Dr. Kate Kass. That” What sounds better: midlife or PrimeTime? When it comes to women, does midlife have a branding problem?Well, yeah, sort of. Granted, branding doesnt solve hot flashes or fix osteoporosis, but could it?Think about it: women in midlife frequently feel shoved aside, invisible, irrelevant, unimportant. Once reproduction is done, society seems to say, women dont have much else to offer. And as women, many of us have internalized that idea, accepting a life thats less than full because well, reasons.We dont demand solutions. We dont demand answers, information, even attention. What would happen if we did?What do you think of when you think of women in midlife? Hot flashes, exhaustion, frazzled concentration, mood swings, resignation, and misery?That is, as Juju Hook would say, bull****. “ With her book Hot Flashes, Carpools, Dirty Martinis,Hook is launching a revolution: to rebrand midlife to PrimeTime. She wants women to take charge of their futures, decide what they passionately want, ditch the reasons theyve created or internalized for not going after their desires, and step into their power.With every action you take, you will ignite your imagination. You will open yourself up to possibilities. You will empower yourself through momentum. You will, through action, facilitate more opportunity.Welcome to PrimeTimeHooks book is a refreshingly upbeat look at the positive side of perimenopause and menopause. Are there physical and emotional challenges? You bet. Do those signs of hormonal change define us, limit us, rule our worlds, and determine our futures? Only if we let them, says Hook.The problem, says Hook, is too many women buy into the BS that midlife is a time of slowing, giving up, accepting diminishing returns from our bodies and our intellect, and letting go. When really, she says, we should be rushing headlong and hallelujah into some seriously rich, exciting, fulfilling years.At 50, with decent health, genes, and luck, women can reasonably expect to live another 30 years. Do you really want to spend three decades denying all that energy, wisdom, and experience?So whats PrimeTime? “ According to Hook, its that magic moment when it all comes together for women: in your 40s and 50s, youve got literally decades of experience managing your complicated life, accruing work experience, building credibility, gathering your network, and learning the heck out of everything.If you had a real problem I mean the kind that requires strategy, quick reaction times, the possible use of duct tape, and absolute secrecy who would you call? If you need a job done right, you call a PrimeTime woman.PrimeTime women have it all going on, but until we believe it ourselves, itll be hard to convince others. And thats why midlife needs a rebrand. (Ready to get your midlife mojo back? Hear more from Dr. Anna Garrett.)Read or dont read? Read. “ Some of Hooks book takes us over well-trod territory: exercise, give yourself some affirmation and love, live in the mindful moment, stop living to please others. But its well-trod for a reason this is all solid advice that most of us agree with and studiously ignore.Hook does take a rather novel approach to cheerleading us all back out onto the field: understand how letting go of damaging societal assumptions will give you back the power youve surrendered.According to Hook, there are six lies weve been fed that we need to let go:Noble Selflessness (everyones life and needs take priority over yours, all the time)Irrelevance (once the kids are raised, you no longer have anything to offer)Extenuating Circumstances (X is the reason you cant get on with realizing your potential)Empty Hourglass (its too late for me to reach my dreams)Impropriety (this isnt proper/dignified behavior for a woman my age)Diminishing Capacity (Im too old to learn or improve, my best years are behind me)None of these, says Hook, is real or right. And letting go of outdated notions will free you to step into your PrimeTime. “ My takeaways I dont ordinarily read self-help books; I find they’re either too rah-rah for words or they give me crippling guilt for being too lazy/wounded/under-inspired and wasting my gifts.But Hook, while unrelentingly rah-rah in a good way, does break it down to some real truths. Yes, society has been engineered to underestimate you, to ignore you, to grind you down. You dont have to let it.So, Hook asks, what do you want?What do you want as passionately and with as much focused purpose as her golden retriever wants treats?Hook helps you ignore the noise, focus on your big beautiful want, then start aligning your planets to get there.And imagine what we can do with a world full of PrimeTime women demanding what they want. Imagine how far medicine and science might go toward easing the menopause experience, once women insist on being heard and taken seriously. “ Thats the power of rebranding midlife to PrimeTime. Its a chance to shed old, outdated labels and individually and collectively claim the fulfilled, fulfilling lives that await.Just apply yourself to what you want. Make yourself useful to you. And the world will open up before you. “ Ready? Mary Slagle is a SaaS Sales Specialist for MINDBODY, Inc. Working in the field of wellness, and for a company filled with mostly twenty-somethings, Mary was feeling as though she had missed out on the chance to join in on the activities and fun they all enjoyed. With five grown children and four grandchildren, her dream was to be more active and healthy. “ While prospecting for new clients, Mary came across Health and Lifestyle Coach Lara Dalchs website and program for a Vibrant Healthy life. She realized it was exactly what she was looking for, in a wholly unexpected way. In this podcast with Jill, Mary and Lara tell us how they partnered up to help Mary feel balanced and successful in all aspects of her life. “ “ Mary is a high-achieving, got-it-all-together kind of gal. Why would she need a coach? Because being driven and having a full life is terrific, but it can also be stressful. Lara helps her prioritize and spend her time and energy right. “ There are lots of coaches and coaching programs out there. We asked Mary how she knew Lara was the right partner for her. According to Mary, The Get Out of Your Own Way worksheet, plus the chance to consult with Lara for free, opened her eyes to where she was in life. She was settling, she realized, and that just wasnt right.(Hear more about Laras program on our previous podcast, Get out of your own way) “ Laras online worksheet was born from watching women sabotage their lives and their opportunities to live more vibrantly. Check out the ways Lara sees women block their own dreams and futures. “ There must have been a moment when you realized you werent living the life you wanted. What was it like when your eyes were opened? Mary talks about when she realized she was giving so much to her professional life, it was leaving her powerless in her personal life. “ The workshop is a sliver of hope that things can change, says Lara; its a glimpse into that better, more fulfilling life. Whatever your goals are, there are paths to achieving them Lara helps her clients realize first, things can be better, and second, heres how well get you there. “ What did the day-to-day work feel like? Lara and Mary talk about the dangers of The Grand Plan and the sanity of setting reasonable goals. “ As Lara says, Feeling well means something different every day. Its important for highly driven women to train their brains to notice whats going well, to celebrate the small steps as much as the big victories. As Lara told us later, there are two critical steps here. Step one: honor how youre feeling and be compassionate with yourself. Step two: redirect your attention to whats going well. Listen to find out how. “ We asked Mary about the low points. What were they and how did she get over them? In a house full of food that wasnt healthy for her body, constant denial was grinding her down. Mary describes how she and Lara developed tools that allowed for some indulgence but kept her choices under her control. “ We could all use tools like that! Mary talks about how Laras program allows for 24/7 access to the whole history of their journey together through video. Being able to go back to critical touchpoints along the way really helped Mary stay on track. “ We asked Lara how she realizes her clients are struggling and what she does when they need a boost. So, whats new and good with you? “ Theres always something that shifts the client and the coach back into a positive mindset, Lara says. Sometimes they have to talk a while to find the good, but theres always something. “ We asked how the program finishes and Mary is sustaining her progress. The program is designed to be finite, Lara says, though there are options to continue. But high-performing women like Mary tend to get through the material quickly and are ready to fly solo pretty fast. From her side, Mary didnt want to say goodbye, even though she was soaring! So shes opted to keep Lara in her corner, through check ups and check ins to keep her moving forward. Will she finally join that CrossFit group? Stay tuned! “ Life makes it tough to make the right choices sometimes (e.g. a cruise ship full of ice cream and pizza), so negotiations continue. But now, Mary says, she has the tools to make judgement calls and control her own decision-making (like spending candy bar money on better indulgences). “ Its such a pleasure to see her thrive, Lara says. No surprise there. If youre looking to get out of your own way and feel vibrant and fulfilled, take a look at Laras website or find a coach near you. “ For those who think you should be able to do this on their own, you may well be able to, and thats great. But also think about all the other times in life when youre willing to call in expert help is fixing your future less important than fixing your car? “ If youve utilized the services of a coach for career, fitness, lifestyle changes, nutrition, etc., wed love to know how you found your coach and how the partnership worked for you. Please feel free to share in the comments below. Youre also welcome to join the conversation on Gennev’s Facebook page or Midlife Menopause Solutions, Gennevs closed Facebook group. “ Coming up soon on Gennev’s podcasts: nixing sugar with Dr. Anna Garrett, just in time for Halloween; brewing up something special for menopause with the Portsmouth Brewery; and learning more about the innovative Mona Lisa Touch with Dr. Rebecca Dunsmoor-Su. Stay tuned or subscribe to us on iTunes, Stitcher or SoundCloud so you never miss an episode!
Chat about functional medicine thyroid with Dr. Kate Kass
What is functional medicine?
How did you get into the functional medicine field?
What is the gut/mind connection when it comes to our health?
Can you explain “leaky gut”?
How does the thyroid fit into all this?
Is it thyroid? Or is it menopause?
How do you help patients feel better?
Tell us about inflammation, gluten, and dairy?
What do you mean by “age management”?
What is the benefit of working with a functional medicine doctor?
What resources can you recommend for our listeners?
How can someone work with you?
1:54 Why a coach?
2:56 What struck you about Coach Laras services in particular?
4:37 What does it mean to get out of your own way?
6:15 Finding awareness
7:44 How does the workshop help women realize how much better their lives could be?
10:21 First, the commitment, then the work
12:35 Set big goals be ready to adjust
14:12 Honeymoons over. Now what?
16:06 Tools? Do tell!
18:00 Pulling clients out of the pit
18:58 How does the coach stay positive?
19:39 How do you know when youre done?
23:30 Is this now a way of life, or is it still work to keep moving ahead?
25:47 The coachs perspective on a clients success