The red cup is back at Starbucks, and you know what that means: the holidays are just around the corner.
Finding gifts for everyone on your list can be enough to put even the most seasoned shopaholic in a bad mood.
And if you traditionally use Thanksgiving as your cue to start shopping, we have bad news: there are only 26 shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas in 2019.
And Hanukkah starts on December 22 this year.
Hooray! “Tis the season for an extra layer of emotion slathered over everything. It may be your first December without a loved one or the annual reminder of rough times with your ex. Family expectations are high, and your mother-in-law still hasn’t forgiven you for marrying her favorite child.Staying relaxed is easier said than done, but stress is both no fun and a big trigger for hot flashes.
If listening to music calms you, bring your headphones while you shop. Take a break for self-care: get a massage, soak in the tub, or go for a long walk before you start to feel burnout.
We’re hoping this list helps, as well.
Who really wants to wake up at 4 a.m. to beat the Black Friday (November 29) crowds? Cyber Monday (December 2) has become a solid alternative. You’ll get great deals, save gas, and you can do it in your PJs with a cup of (decaf) coffee.
And you don’t need to wait: many retailers already have their Black Friday discounts listed online. For example, Cnet has curated a few ideas from favorite retailers like Walmart and Amazon, and TechRadar has predictions about upcoming Cyber Monday bargains.
Fear not, procrastinators: even if you snooze on the post-Thanksgiving deals, you can take advantage of Free Shipping Day on December 14.
Online shopping makes it easier than ever to cross off everyone on your holiday list without leaving the house.
But when your partner or kids have prying eyes, you want a one-of-a-kind gift that can only be bought in a brick-and-mortar location, or you’re desperate for a new outfit to wear to the office holiday party, you need to put on your big girl pants and get out there.
Whether you’re hitting the mall or the mom-and-pop shops on Main Street on Small Business Saturday (November 30), write out what you want from each store and in which order to visit them to save time, gas, and stress.
Hitting the mall can be a great way to get in your steps. Exercise during menopause is important for bone health, weight management, and to lower your risk of breast cancer. Make shopping work to your advantage!
Take the stairs or walk up the escalator. To really get a workout when shopping during the day, park as far from the entrance as you can, or on the opposite end of the side that you’re planning on visiting.
But”¦
Safety first, always! Law enforcement professionals remind you to park in well-lit areas, keep your hands free and keys and cellphone easily accessible, roll your windows all the way up when parking, store gifts and bags in your trunk, and always lock your car.
Cybersecurity experts remind you to use trusted websites, make sure the site is SSL encrypted (you’ll know because the URL will start with “https’ and you’ll see a locked padlock in the address bar), and other best practices when shopping online.
Who can resist the alluring smell of Cinnabon? When that cinnamon-sugary aroma wafts across the food court, it can be hard to resist, especially when you’re stressed. Unfortunately, sugar, caffeine, and other mall delights can lead to hot flashes and midlife weight gain.
Stash a few snacks filled with fiber, protein, vitamins, and healthy fats in your bag: nuts, apple slices, dried fruit, hardboiled eggs, a cup of yogurt or cottage cheese, string cheese, or single-serve hummus and carrots are all portable and healthy.
You’ll feel better and make better shopping decisions.
Thirst has a funny way of sometimes coming across as hunger, and water is good for your brain, body, and holiday spirit. It’s extra important that you stay hydrated in perimenopause, menopause, and beyond.
You can always count on Santa to let you know what the wee ones want. Teenagers and adults, not so much.
Time to do some sleuthing. Your friends and family members’ “Likes” on Facebook or “Hearts” on Instagram can give you insight into what they would like to find under the tree.
We promise this doesn’t make you a stalker. Well, maybe a little bit, but finding a thoughtful, inspired gift that the recipient will cherish makes it cute, not creepy.
Many of us in midlife find ourselves wanting to get in touch with our roots or explore our family tree. DNA tests have become a popular gift in recent years, and the most popular services offer deals around the holidays.
These tests can provide amazing genealogic and health insights but may be problematic as unsolicited gifts.
Perhaps your sister is trying to shed a few post-menopausal pounds, or your best friend is getting hit hard by hot flashes. Maybe makeup and nail polish are easy stocking stuffers for your daughter or niece.
We’ve written about how makeup, nail polish, and other cosmetics can be a bummer for breasts. Pick products that are free of parabens, phthalates, phenols, and other potential toxins.
Use this as an opportunity to help your friends swap out bad for better, such as alternatives to plastic (which may be full of cancer-causing chemicals). [A few ideas for reusable gifts]
And browse our gift ideas for women in midlife and menopause or our menopause wish list; from float sessions to cooking classes to smart vibrators (oh my), we’ve got you (and your sister, and your girlfriends) covered.
What do you get for the person who has everything? Sometimes the answer is nothing”nothing besides memories and experiences.
Sure, you can’t give everyone on your list a vacation or spa day, but there are plenty of experiential options for all budgets, for kids, and for the entire family.
You could also give cold, hard cash, but what’s better than getting $5? Giving $5 to charity. Research shows that the pleasure of receiving money fades, while philanthropic contributions leave a warm and lasting glow. Charity Navigator can help you find reputable non-profits and causes that will resonate with your friends and loved ones’ areas of interest.
And you can’t go wrong with a homemade gift from the heart–even if you aren’t crafty enough to upcycle an apron, you can have a lot of fun putting together a DIY bubble bath set.
You can score seasonal cheer at a deeply discounted rate after Christmas… while you buy yourself what you really wanted from Santa. If you have the space, stock up on holiday decor and evergreen gifts to save your future self some of the stress you’ve just vanquished.
While there is some truth behind the idea of retail therapy, don’t shop if you know you aren’t in the right headspace for it. The holidays can be hard, and your mental and physical health needs to come first.
While you’re at it, feel empowered to skip the office holiday party. Unless you found that perfect outfit on your shopping adventures.
If you’ve mastered the art of stress-free holiday shopping, help a buddy out and share it with us in our community forums!
Do things just slip through your fingers? Do you continually bump into things, drop things, misplant a foot when descending the stairs or stepping off a curb?
Remember that gawky awkward phase you went through as you entered puberty, when suddenly your legs were longer, your arms reached farther, and all these new bits of you felt out of your control?
Well, like the acne, mood swings, and erratic periods, clumsy is back, and menopause may be (in part, at least) to blame. Fortunately, like adolescence, it’s generally temporary on this end too.
Estrogen as particularly estradiol as appears to have a beneficial effect on fine motor skills. It’s why, at certain points in a woman’s cycle, she may feel a bit clumsier or more graceful than at other times.
It’s also why many women in perimenopause and menopause notice a marked difference in their ability to hold onto things and move comfortably through the world.
Drops in estrogen can also make concentration a bit more difficult, and that moment of inattention can be the difference between enjoying a glass of wine and cleaning it off the carpet.
Additionally, blurred vision from dry eye or even cataracts can add to the number of accidents we seem to be having lately.
Finally, some women say slight dizziness or light-headedness during this time also causes a lack of coordination.
Constantly having to clean up messes is annoying, takes time, and can start to drain our already flagging self-confidence, so here are a few tips to get through this second “awkward phase”:
An increased tendency to drop things and bump into furniture during this time is common, but if your “clumsiness” seems very sudden, very extreme, or comes with slurred speech, numbness, headaches, or difficulty swallowing, seek medical help right away.
Of course, if you have any concern that what you’re experiencing is more serious that a dip in estrogen, please talk to your doctor.
While there’s not much research on this, what there is, plus anecdotes from women I’ve spoken with seem to indicate this is transitional and temporary, and most women regain motor control after their bodies adapt to less estrogen.
Of course, you can help yourself recover more completely by doing strength exercises. The lost muscle mass many women experience doesn’t regenerate without effort, and much of motor control depends on strength.
The information on the Gennev site is never meant to replace the care of a qualified medical professional. Hormonal shifts throughout menopause can prompt a lot of changes in your body, and simply assuming something is “just menopause” can leave you vulnerable to other possible causes. Always consult with your physician or schedule an appointment with one of Gennev’s telemedicine doctors before beginning any new treatment or therapy.
The word is getting out that women’s hormonal health shouldn’t be a taboo, but instead we should feel fabulous in our bodies.
I sat down recently with Fast Company to talk about Gennev’s mission for women to feel empowered and confident in their bodies”¦starting with their vaginal health. Listen in and then tell us what you hope Gennev takes on in our quest for open dialogue, helpful information, and healthy bodies.
see the original article on Fast Company
Conversations around divorce in midlife ordinarily focus on the couple and their shared concerns: Financial worries. Empty nest syndrome. Parent care. Painful sex.
But what if the dissolution of long-term marriages were about something else entirely? Something that hides behind arguments about retirement planning and how to spend weekends? What if the problems of midlife aren’t the concerns couples share, but are instead the expectations they don’t?
For men, the second half of life can feel like a reduction. Physical strength is waning. Authority at work may be less as younger colleagues with different skills start asserting themselves. Sexual appetite and ability can be more complicated. Less hair, less energy, less respect, fewer choices.
For women, midlife often looks more”¦ liberating. The children are grown or nearly grown. She may hold a position of high responsibility, or she may be passing the torch and freeing up her time for other things. She may have a decent salary and therefore some disposable income. She’s likely still healthy and active and may even (finally!) be liberated from the inconvenience of a monthly cycle and pregnancy concerns.
Her body is changing and maturing in ways our sexist, ageist society disapproves of, but she cares less about the opinions of others as which, for many women, is the biggest liberation of all.
What do you do when one of you feels like you’re going to seed and the other is on the verge of bursting into blossom? Does a difference in perspective on what the future holds mean a marriage is doomed?
Add together dissatisfaction and a sense of urgency, and you have a recipe for throwing out babies with bathwater and deciding it’s time to remodel the upstairs bathroom or maybe just sell the darn house and move to Tahiti.
Big impulsive decisions can be made in a midlife crisis in menopause as after all, there’s only so much time left to do all those things you planned, and if anything (one) is holding you back, you need to jettison it (him/her) and get on with living!
But hasty decisions can have lasting consequences and bring lasting regret. Thinking through the possible repercussions before acting could be the difference between facing the music and dancing to it.
It might be helpful to think of all your possible futures as travel destinations. How do you plan for the trip that is the rest of your life?
1. Decide on a destination. What do you want from this journey? Excitement and adventure? Relaxation, comfort, and predictability? Bear in mind that this isn’t two weeks in Prague, this is the rest of your life as you have time for many adventures. It may be risk and wild times now, familiar comforts next. You don’t have to make decisions that cut off future choices.
2. Pick a travel partner. To do this right, ask yourself: What do you need from your partner? Someone to come along with you, step for step, as eager to take on the next adventure as you are? Or someone to come home to, tell your menopause stories to, who provides a safe and familiar harbor? You may discover the travel partner you need is the one you already have. And if not, you may be better equipped to choose the next one, or to decide it’s time to go it alone.
3. Be aware of baggage fees. We all carry a lot of extra emotional and spiritual “weight” around, and our dissatisfaction with ourselves and what we feel we haven’t accomplished can turn into resentment of our partner. Is that person truly holding you back? If so, a re-evaluation may well be in order. But if the baggage is your own, be careful you aren’t jettisoning your best support system and your best friend.
4. Know the weather at your destination. Okay, this analogy is pretty much milked, I admit, but here’s what I mean: if you’ve been together a long time, your lives are all tangled up together. Untangling all that may mean losing some mutual friends, in-laws, estranging children. You may lose access to meaningful places, events, and activities. It will likely be a bit cold and lonely at first, and while that may not be the most important aspect of your decision, it’s important to be realistic”¦ and ready.
The urge to throw it all off and flee, wind in your hair, bridges alight behind you, may be nearly overwhelming, but you owe it to yourself and to the person who’s shared their life with you to get this right.
If your partner as male or female as is imagining the future differently than you are, they may not even be aware of the gap in your expectations. One of you is envisioning matching recliners and sports teams on the telly, while the other is signing up for scuba lessons and learning Japanese, and the two points of view seem utterly incompatible. But are they, really? Might it be possible, with a bit of negotiation and compromise, to have it all?
Give yourself and your partner the respect of having the conversation. Be kind. Be open. Be honest. It may not save a marriage that has truly reached its expiration date, but it may help preserve a relationship that’s meant a lot for a long time.
Are you finding your long-term relationship is wearing a little thin in midlife? What are you doing about it? If you’re willing to share, we’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment here, join the “gray divorce” conversation on our forums, or find us on Facebook or in Midlife & Menopause Solutions, our Facebook group.
This article first appeared on PRiME Women and is reprinted here with permission.
It used to be called the “mask of pregnancy” because it happens so often to women in that condition. But melasma as those darker patches on your skin as isn’t limited to pregnant women. It can first happen, or happen again to many women in menopause.
These changes in pigmentation usually occur on the face, and while they aren’t dangerous, they can impact our self-confidence. To understand the condition, skincare tips, and what concerns it raises, we talked to dermatologist Dr. Keira Barr, author of The Skin Whisperer.
Dr. Keira shared, “Melasma appears on women’s skin much more often than men’s skin. In fact, though over 5 million Americans are affected by melasma, 90% of them are women. “What causes melasma is not yet fully understood, though current theories suggest that hormones, UV exposure, inflammation, and genetics are all major influencers of the disorder.”
“Melasma likely occurs when the pigment producing cells in the skin (melanocytes) produce too much pigment (or melanin),” Dr. Keira explains. “The underlying hormone responsible for triggering the melanocytes is melanocyte stimulating hormone (MSH). This hormone increases the production of melanin, which is responsible for darkening the skin.” People with darker skin are more prone to melasma because they have more active melanocytes than people with light skin.
“At all stages of women’s lives, hormones can be in flux. When it comes to melasma, research has found that elevated levels of estrogen, and to a lesser degree elevated progesterone levels, are associated with increased skin pigmentation. “This is why melasma is often seen during pregnancy, and in those women using oral contraceptive pills and hormone replacement therapy (HRT) as because hormonal levels are elevated and stimulate melanocytes both directly and indirectly to increase pigment production.”
Hormones + stress: Cortisol is part of the problem, says Dr. Keira, so avoiding stress where possible can help manage the condition. “As you become stressed (whether it be physical, psychological or emotional), your body produces increasing levels of the hormone cortisol to help cope with the stress.” More cortisol creates an imbalance in estrogen levels, and “these elevated estrogens upregulates MSH levels, which in turn increases the amount of melanin produced. Re-establishing balance in stress and hormonal levels are one of the keys to prevention and management.”
Hormones + thyroid: Other hormones also have been shown to play a role in melasma, according to Dr. Keira. Studies highlight that individuals with thyroid disorders, specifically autoimmune thyroid conditions, had a higher incidence of melasma as well.
Exposure to sunlight and heat: “Ultraviolet (UV) light from the sun stimulates your melanocytes. This means that just a small amount of vitamin d or sun exposure can make melasma return after fading,” says Dr. Keira. “This is why melasma often is worse in summer due to higher levels of sun exposure. It also is the main reason why many people with melasma have recurrences…it comes back, again and again.”
Sun exposure can either trigger melasma, or contribute to exacerbation of the skin patches, according to Dr. Keira. “What’s more, the sun’s heat, and heat of any kind, is a common trigger for melasma as it increases vascular dilatation which is a component of this condition. In addition, heat may lead to more inflammation which can also stimulate melanocyte pigment production. What does this mean? Sun screens and other surface protection may not be enough to keep the skin from darkening.”
Genetics: While women constitute the vast majority of those with melasma, it’s not limited to women alone. In fact, says Dr. Keira, “Recent studies have found that melasma tends to run in families regardless of whether a man or women inherits the condition. In fact, one study showed that 70 percent of Latino men with melasma also had a family member with melasma.”
Irritation from skin care products: Be careful of how you treat your skin, says Dr. Keira. “If a product or procedure irritates your skin whether due to heat or friction resulting in trauma, melasma can worsen due to stimulating melanin production. This has been shown in association with intense pulsed light therapy, microdermabrasion and some chemical peels.”
Dermatologists can diagnose most patients by looking at their skin, Dr. Keira tells us. “What makes melasma a challenge for treatment is how deeply it penetrates the skin. The more deeply it penetrates, the more difficult it may be to treat. To determine how deeply the melasma penetrates the skin, your dermatologist may look at your skin under a device called a Wood’s light. “There are instances when melasma can look like another skin condition. To rule out another skin condition, your dermatologist may need to remove a small bit of skin by performing a skin biopsy. A skin biopsy is a simple procedure that can safely and quickly be performed during an office visit.”
Melasma caused by hormone changes is neither painful nor dangerous. However, since melasma can be caused by other conditions, like thyroid disease or allergic reactions, it’s wise to check it out to be sure of the underlying cause.
The pigmentation can fade or go away entirely when the cause is removed as with some time after the baby is born and hormones settle, or if the patient stops taking hormones. However, the patches can last for many years or be permanent.
Melasma may, in time, go away on its own, but it can take time and vigilance. These tips, direct from Dr. Keira, can help manage the melasma as well as protect against recurrence.
Limit sun exposure. The best melasma treatment is often prevention. As sun exposure is a leading trigger for melasma, sun protection is at the top of the list for both prevention and management of this condition. When heading outdoors wearing a broad-brimmed hat, sunglasses, and a broad spectrum sunscreen with at least SPF 30 is important. I prefer moisturizers and sunscreens with physical sunscreens like zinc oxide because it is tolerated by most skin types and less prone to cause irritation. It’s important to remember that damaging sun rays penetrate through a car window.
Protect with good nutrition. Additional sun protection strategies include eating an anti-inflammatory dietrich in antioxidants and phytonutrients which means loading your plate full of colorful fruits, vegetables, healthy fats like olive and avocado oil as well as omega-3 fatty acids like salmon. Supplements to consider before heading outdoors include those that contain polypodium leucotomas, grape seed extract, green tea extract, astanxanthin and omega-3 fatty acids.
Apply topical treatments. Talk with your doctor about the different topical treatments that are available. It’s important to have the right treatment for your skin type and lifestyle, so be sure to discuss all the options with a qualified professional.
Hydroquinone. Commonly used as first-line treatment for melasma, it works by lightening the skin and is applied on the skin. It comes in varying prescription strengths as well as less-powerful over-the-counter varieties. One caveat: this medicine should be used sparingly and briefly as it can cause a darkening of the skin called ochronosis.
Tretinoin and corticosteroids. Topical tretinoin (aka Retin-A) may be used to enhance skin lightening. Sometimes a combination of three medicines may be used in one “triple” cream: hydroquinone and tretinoin to help with skin lightening, and the corticosteroid to help alleviate any irritation caused by the other two medicines.
Kojic acid. Kojic acid is naturally found in soy and mushrooms and works in melasma by decreasing the amount of pigment within the melanocytes. However, kojic acid has a high rate of contact sensitivity, so be careful to avoid skin irritation that could worsen melasma.
Azelic acid: Azelaic acid works similarly to hydroquinone and may be paired with tretinoin as well to enhance the effects.
Vitamin C (L-Ascorbic acid): Vitamin C is a natural antioxidant that prevents the absorption of UV radiation and the subsequent formation of free-radicals, so it prevents melanin from forming. It is well tolerated and can be used alone or in combination with other topical therapies.
Niacinamide (Vitamin B3): Studies have shown niacinamide to be effective for melasma. Melanocytes produce melanosomes which give skin its color; niacinamide can block melanin transfer to the outer layers of the skin.
These therapies may work better when combined with a series of chemical peels with either Glycolic, Salicylic, or Trichloroacetic Acid. Peels and topical therapies should be adjusted according to skin type and under the guidance of your dermatologist for best results.
Other treatments include micro needling, laser, microdermabrasion and light-based therapies. Only a dermatologist or highly trained professional under a dermatologist’s supervision should perform these procedures as worsening of melasma or new skin problems may occur when the person who performs the treatment does not tailor it to the patient’s skin type.
Treatment isn’t necessary for safety, says Dr. Keira, but there are implications to doing nothing. “As one of the major triggers is UV radiation exposure, continued exposure can lead to darkening of the skin and make melasma patches permanent. While it is a benign condition and treatment is not required, I have found the emotional and psychological impacts of melasma take the biggest toll for many individuals when the condition is left untreated.”
Melasma is caused or worsened by irritation, so be aware of everything you do to your skin, Dr. Keira adds. “Choose skin care products that are gentle on your skin. Avoid and discontinue products that sting or burn your skin, as those may worsen melasma. And avoid waxing: Waxing causes acute trauma to your skin and may cause skin inflammation which can worsen melasma, so it’s important to avoid waxing areas of the body affected by the condition. Ask a dermatologist about other types of hair removal that may be right for you.”
The information on the Gennev site is never meant to replace the care of a qualified medical professional. Hormonal shifts throughout menopause can prompt a lot of changes in your body, and simply assuming something is “just menopause” can leave you vulnerable to other possible causes. Always consult with your physician or schedule an appointment with one of Gennev’s telemedicine doctors before beginning any new treatment or therapy.
It is the Holy Grail for midlife: restorative, refreshing, rejuvenating, elusive, mystical, and talked about with reverence and desire.
It’s sleep.
We all want it. We crave it. We know sleep’s power to make our lives significantly better, physically, mentally, and emotionally. But getting it is surprisingly difficult.
But midlife is a terrible time for sleep, for many of us. Not only do hormonal changes conspire to keep us awake with menopause night sweats, debilitating anxiety, restless leg syndrome, itching all over your body, flaring cortisol, and insomnia, but our lives have us on high alert, worrying about teenage kids, elderly parents, looming retirement, work responsibilities, and our own health.
We all know sleep is critical for our health. Without getting proper sleep, our brains start to lose function, we’re more vulnerable to obesity, diabetes, heart disease, dementia, and stroke. Poor sleep could actually be a contributor to Alzheimer’s disease.
And yet, in midlife and menopause, sleep can be increasingly difficult to get.
There are two main reasons we hear from our community of women that they’re not sleeping well: night sweats and anxiety.
We want you to get the rest you need and want, so we’d like to introduce you to a couple of innovations that are tackling those precise issues and helping women sleep.*
A hot flash (or its nocturnal sibling, the night sweat) is the brain telling the body (incorrectly, usually) that it’s overheating and needs to dump some heat immediately. Blood rushes to the skin as usually the chest, neck and face as to cool, ironically making you feel overheated indeed. There are some clever ways to treat them like hrt patches for hot flashes, but they relentlessly plague the average menopausal woman.
If you are sick of hot flashes and would like to give HRT a try, a Gennev menopause-certified gynecologist can give you a trusted opinion, determine if medication is right for you, and they can provide prescription support. Book an appointment with a doctor here.
These can last from a few seconds to up to 20 minutes, often bathing the sufferer in sweat.
Because this tactic is actually pretty effective at cooling, after the heat passes, chill can set in, and voilà ! You get to be uncomfortable for a little longer in the other direction.
Disruptive and unpleasant during the day, hot flashes can be even worse at night. They’re often bad enough to wake a woman from sleep and even require a change of pajamas or bedding to get comfortable again. Until the next one strikes.
The innovative Embr Wave device is helping a lot of women have better nights (read our Embr Wave review). The Embr Wave is a bracelet women wear that allows them to control a sensation of heat or coolness on the temperature-sensitive skin of the wrist.
It works because the thermoreceptors in the wrist send powerful signals to the brain. Think about when your feet are cold: maybe the rest of your body is warm, but the discomfort of your feet probably overrides all the other sensations, making you feel cold all over. The Embr Wave does much the same, only it uses its power for good, signaling to your brain that you’re comfortably warm or comfortably cool.
Many women report that triggering the cooling function of the Embr Wave as soon as they feel a hot flash coming on can actually stop the flash in its tracks.
At night, women are able to stop the night sweats early in the flare up, so the consequences (sweaty PJs and sheets) are reduced, and sleep is much less interrupted. Additionally, once the hot flash is over, women are much more able to avoid the trailing chill by hitting the warming button on their Embr Wave.
And for those who find dropping off to sleep is difficult in the first place, the Embr Wave has a Fall Asleep Mode, where the pulsing waves of the device mimic the slow breathing of sleep.
The relief and feeling of control women get by having the Embr Wave is also helpful, lessening the stress, anger, and frustration many women feel. And the lowered stress may well help prevent the next hot flash from happening.
Maybe you’re able to fall asleep, but you wake in the middle of the night, and wham! Anxiety kicks in and kicks up a fuss, reminding you of every failure, blowing minor worries into major disasters, head-butting your self-confidence, and making falling back to sleep feel like an impossibility.
Anxiety is one of the worst symptoms of perimenopause and menopause for many women, yet plenty of us don’t even realize that the appearance or ramping up of this wholly unwelcome emotion can be due to hormones.
Perhaps one of the most pleasant ways to alleviate anxiety, especially at night, is with a weighted blanket for menopause insomnia.
Science isn’t entirely sure what makes weighted blankets effective, but certainly many folks swear by them for anxiety disorders and poor sleep. The extra weight wraps around the sleeper like a hug, triggering many of the same calming and soothing mechanisms. Users report falling asleep faster and staying asleep better.
“More blanket AND hot flashes? No, thank you!” we hear you shout. And you’re right. But what if the blanket were cooling and weighted, to counteract two of women’s greatest midlife sleep challenges?
Gennev CEO Jill Angelo tried out the Iced blanket from Hush, and here’s what she had to say:
“The Iced Hush blanket is the perfect weight as feels cozy. It’s really cool: I didn’t suffer from the typical night sweat that’s the usual for me on a nightly basis. It breathes well”¦and I like that it has a external liner that I can unzip and wash separately when needed.” Her only complaint was that it wasn’t big enough as easily remedied by ordering the next size up.
I talked to Hush co-founder Lior Ohayon about his miracle blanket. Here’s what we learned about the science behind this innovation:
What inspired you to create your line of weighted blankets?
Lior: A few years ago I worked at a summer camp for special needs children. In it, they had a Stimulation Room with all sorts of devices for the campers. One of the weighted devices caught my attention and felt amazing to be under. However, it was small, ugly, and pretty expensive. That’s when I decided I need to bring this to the masses and partnered with Aaron [Spivak] to design the Hush Blanket.
Cooling and weighted are not two terms that comfortably go together. What’s the science/magic behind yours?
Lior: Without giving too much away, it all rests in the blend of fabrics in the Hush Iced cover. Put simply, some fabrics can heat up to higher temperatures naturally and retain heat for longer. Hush Iced has a low latent heat and is also very breathable, being made from bamboo and cotton.
Why are they particularly good for women dealing with perimenopause and menopause symptoms? Lior: We know that menopause symptoms include hot flashes, chills, night sweats, sleep problems, and mood changes. Not only can a weighted blanket get your sleep back on track by increasing your melatonin (sleep hormone) production, it also increases your serotonin (happiness hormone) while lowering your stress-inducing cortisol hormone. Our customers are 65% women going through menopause, so we had to quickly adapt with the Hush Iced in order for them to benefit without getting hot.
Why do weighted blankets work to relieve anxiety?
Lior: The Hush mimics a loving hug around your body, which releases all sorts of positive hormones and makes us feel secure. They are scientifically proven to help users relax and lower anxiety because of this Deep Touch Pressure Stimulation effect from the weight.
Does it feel constricting?
Lior: Some people don’t enjoy the sensation of being under something heavy because they are used to sleeping with such light sheets. We encourage them to try it for 3-4 nights and many report that they end up loving it. If not, they can always exchange it for free for a lighter Hush blanket.
How do you weight it?
Lior: The inner weighted blanket has pockets which are filled with non-toxic glass sand. The pockets reduce the movement of weight around the blanket and evenly distributes it.
What material(s) do you use, and can I easily wash it?
Lior: The Hush Iced is made from a patent-pending blend of bamboo and cotton with a bit of spandex. It can be thrown in the wash easily, but we recommend hang-drying for best results. The inner weighted blanket is probably best spot-cleaned to avoid damage to your washing machine!
Whatever is keeping you awake at night, it’s worth it to your health and well-being to find a solution. Whether that’s HRT (hormone replacement therapy), or a wearable device, or a chilling blanket or cooling menopause clothing, or some combination thereof, there are answers to help you get through the challenging transitional period of perimenopause and menopause.
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Have you tried any of the above? We’d love to hear your thoughts on Embr or Hush or any other solution that’s helping you get through the night. Please jleave us a note on the Gennev Facebook page, or join our community in Midlife & Menopause Solutions, our closed Facebook group.
Good things can come from the COVID crisis, as hard as that might be to believe.
We’re seeing heroism from front-line essential workers like health care professionals, delivery drivers, customer service professionals, retail workers, and more.
And we’re seeing other people finding creative ways to help out, like It’s On Us Corvallis. IOU Corvallis is the perfect marriage of people who want to help, restaurants who want to serve food, and folks who need nutritious meals.
By connecting a crowd-funding platform with local restaurants and hungry people, IOU Corvallis is helping people not only get good meals, it’s helping restaurants find new customers and people stay employed.
In their own words, here’s how it works:
To learn more, have a listen to the podcast with the three women of IOU Corvallis, Aliza Tuttle, Ashley Relf, and Elizabeth Jones, speaking with Gennev’s Director of Health Coaching, Stasi Kasianchuk. If you prefer to watch the conversation, you can view it on the Gennev YouTube channel.
TRANSCRIPT COMING SOON
If you’re doing something you’d like to tell us about, or if you know someone doing something you’d like to bring attention to, we welcome you to post it on our Community Forums
Weight gain at midlife can be as distressing as it is common, leaving many women searching for ways to shed the unwanted weight. But are a few extra pounds really worth the pain and suffering, or worse, risking a dangerous eating disorder? Wouldn’t it be better to make peace with our bodies and our food?
Jill talked with Julie Duffy Dillon, Registered Dietitian, Eating Disorder and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) Specialist, and Food Behavior Expert, on how she’s partnering with people on their Food Peace journey. Julie is trained as a mental health counselor and supervises dietitians and other health professionals to use weight-inclusive and attuned-eating strategies.
Here’s what she told us:
What is the “food peace journey”? Julie says we’re “born knowing how to eat,” but somehow our natural set points for hunger and fullness have gotten confused as our culture’s definition of beauty have narrowed. How did that happen, and how do we get our original “default settings” back?
Why is it difficult for adults, including women over 40, to have a healthy relationship with food? Sixty percent of adult women engage in “pathological weight control,” Julie says, and feel guilty about eating or getting pleasure from food. Hear from Julie how our fat-phobic, youth-obsessed culture damages how we think about food and our bodies and how rejecting that cultural attitude becomes a radical act.
[Eating disorders in women in midlife and menopause are, sadly, common. Julie fills us in on why.]
Julie talks about coaching women up from “diet rock bottom.” Acknowledging damaging cultural expectations, admitting our old ways of thinking and acting don’t work, deciding our own path to food peace as these help us realize we are the experts on our bodies, Julie says. And that allows us to reclaim our body’s natural cues. Learn how.
Don’t eat after sunset; stay under 1200 calories a day; don’t eat carbs, but clean your plate. We set a lot of rules for our eating that may or may not support good health. Julie goes into some of our many food rules and why so many of our “shoulds” “¦ shouldn’t.
[Ever considered intermittent fasting as a way to control weight? Read Julie’s thoughts on IF.]
Many of us have gotten so far into disordered eating, we don’t recognize our own body cues anymore. Julie helps us reconnect with our needs, whether it’s a need for fuel or whether we’re actually trying to feed a “symbolic” hunger instead.
Why do we eat when we’re not hungry? Julie says there are lots of reasons to eat outside of physical hunger, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But if there’s more to the hunger, if there’s an underlying cause that needs to be addressed, then it might be time to find a Julie. Eating outside of hunger shouldn’t be shameful or an opportunity to judge someone, Julie says. She details questions to ask yourself when you think your hunger might be symbolic and unhealthy.
In Part 2, food peace and accepting your midlife body, Jill and Julie talk about how we can be more conscious of our own eating, and how eating issues seem to disproportionately affect women in midlife. How do we know when our eating has become problematic, and what can we do about our approach to food?
Stay tuned to Gennev for the second half of this podcast, and be sure to follow us on iTunes, Stitcher, and SoundCloud, so you never miss an episode.
Interested in learning more about accepting your midlife body? Work with a Registered Dietitian and get your Personalized Health Plan with a HealthFix Membership!
Julie owns Birdhouse Nutrition Therapy, central North Carolina’s premier source of eating disorder treatment and prevention. She also produces and hosts the weekly podcast, Love Food. Learn more at JulieDillonRD.com.
“Irritability.” Not quite the towering, world-ending fury of full-on rage, irritability in perimenopause and menopause is still a very real, very important problem.
When your partner or your boss or your kids or the behavior of the hangars in your closet constantly just gets under your skin, it can eat away at confidence, productivity, and significant relationships. It’s harder to deal with petty annoyances we used to be able to brush off. We snap more often, then we feel guilty about snapping, we don’t know if we can trust ourselves anymore, and before long, we’re withdrawing from the people and things that used to give us joy.
If you are tired of being irritable all of the time, a menopause-certified health coach can be helpful. Book 30 minutes for your personal consultation with a health coach.
So what do we mean by “irritability”? It means we’re a bit more predisposed to react to situations as like getting cut off in traffic as with anger, annoyance, frustration, or impatience. The difference between irritability and rage is largely one of degree.
“Irritability is a “simmering’ sort of feeling. Rage is an eruption,” says one member of the Gennev community. “It’s not as dramatic, but being irritated all the time is exhausting.”
So what can we do to stop the simmer?
Fluctuations in estrogen levels may directly cause irritability. Menopause can cause moodswings because estrogen affects production of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine, our feel-good hormones, so when estrogen levels decline, so do the happy hormones.
Hormonal changes also indirectly cause irritability by impacting sleep with menopause nightsweats or hot flashes, taking a toll on our sex lives, causing us to have more headaches, and generally setting us up to feel less than our happy, vibrant selves some days.
Finally, in some ways, this can be a uniquely irritatingmenopause midlife phase: the collision of raising teens and caring for aging parents can tax our time and patience. We likely have greater responsibility at work, and our relationships may not feel as stable and supportive as previously. So some irritation is natural and expected, and while it may not be pleasant, it may not all be the fault of our hormones.
While the source of our irritations may be at least partially out of our control (teens will be teens and hormones will be hormones), we can take steps to manage our reactions to triggers better.
One: Nature provides a lot of herbal remedies for irritation, says Ayurvedic Cure, chamomile, peppermint, hops, St. John’s Wort, and lavender all can help us handle stress more calmly. Valerian root, says Ayurvedic Cure, has sedative qualities, so it not only calms but may help you sleep.
Two: We suggest replacing caffeine, which can make you jittery and prone to irritation, with matcha tea. It is definitely one of the foods to avoid during menopause.
Three: Dr. Mariza Snyder recommends adding the essential oil clary sage to your managing-menopause tool kit. It decreases the stress hormone cortisol, she says, and can aid in getting better sleep. She also suggests bergamot as a way to naturally “lower the body’s stress responses.”
Four: Vitamin D is a natural mood-lifter, not least because one good way to get it is to step out into the sunshine. It helps bones and brains, too, so make sure you’re getting enough. Vitamin D can be hard to get in winter, so fortified foods, salmon, and sardines are good complements.
Five: Acupuncture relieves feelings of stress for many, and since it can also minimize pain and aid in sleep, it can attack irritability from several directions.
Six: Focusing on breath and body in yoga helps many women gain control of their irritation. Some poses are said to be particularly powerful for channeling anger out of the body and spirit.
Seven: Sugar in particular can destabilize mood, so cutting waaaaaay back on sweets can be a huge boost to your natural chill. Also, stay hydrated. It’s easier to deal with life’s little annoyances when we’re not constipated and we’re free from dehydration headaches.
BONUS: Experience more pleasure, says Certified Women’s Health and Nutrition Specialist Nicole Negron: “Pleasure can be hard to attain when we live in a culture that rewards over-productivity. If you are living a life that is leaving you depleted and burned out, you will certainly be irritated. When a woman is stressed,” Nicole says, “her body begins to produce the stress hormone cortisol. If a woman has too much cortisol in her bloodstream, she is guaranteed to experience irritability, depression, and anxiety. Which all leads to inflammation in the body and then to disease.”
One answer? Orgasm: “When a woman experiences pleasure through orgasm, it stimulates those 8,000 nerve endings completely dedicated to pleasure and creativity.” Orgasms are great, but anything that brings you pleasure will work, says Nicole. “Other pleasurable activities can be sitting by the water, or dancing wildly after a shower to your favorite music. These pleasurable activities flood the body with nitric oxide which boosts endorphins, which in turn will minimize irritability and inflammation.” She suggests doing something that brings you pleasure once a day for at least 20 minutes. Tracking in a journal will help you see the success of your efforts.
Whether it’s tangled hangars or teens tangling over the TV remote, those little bumps in the road can sometimes feel like mountains. Huge, irritating, frustrating, insurmountable mountains. We know our responses are disproportionate, but we just can’t quite seem to get a grip like we used to. Making a few changes to your diet or self-care regimen can help you keep your cool.
What do you do to manage the irritation that comes with midlife? Share with us in the comments, on our Facebook page, or in our closed Facebook group! If you don’t share, we might get angry. And you won’t like us when we’re angry.
*Herbs and supplements can interact with medications, so before adding new things to your daily regimen, check with your doctor for potential concerns. If you feel your irritation is truly out of control, seek help from a medical professional.
Yup, you can add body odor to the list of “weird stuff that happens at menopause.” But take heart, this may be one of the more easily managed symptoms.
If you’re at or approaching menopause, you may have noticed your body smells differently. The deodorant and anti-perspirant you’ve used for years, even decades, may no longer work, making you more self-conscious. Even the feeling in your armpits may be different”stickier and heavier. While these changes may not be pleasant, they are normal.
Hormone imbalances and body odor often go together. Dips in estrogen can trigger hot flashes and night sweats, meaning you simply sweat more, which in turn can result in more odor.
This is also a time of life filled with high levels of anxiety or stress, which can make you sweat, too. Unlike sweat resulting from warm temperatures or exercise, anxiety sweat is different”and often more malodorous. Sweat itself is odorless, but when it combines with bacteria on your skin things start to get stinky. Anxiety sweat is produced by the apocrine glands, found in your armpit and groin areas, and it’s a fatty sweat (eew) that bacteria love.
The good news: when hormones, anxiety, and stress settle down after you reach menopause, so does the BO. Until then, there are ways to feel fresher.
The obvious is to ramp up your personal hygiene with more frequent bathing, but sometimes that’s not enough or not always practical. Here are more strategies.
Be prepared. Carry cleansing wipes for a quick refresh anytime, anywhere. Just be sure the product you use is gentle enough for frequent application, particularly if you’re using it down there. Look for a wipe that is pH balanced and contains natural, moisturizing ingredients like aloe and vitamin E.
Get more of these minerals: zinc and magnesium. Zinc is found in oysters, tofu, chicken, yogurt, and shitake mushrooms. Foods high in magnesium include spinach, pumpkin seeds, lima beans, tuna, brown rice, and almonds.
Wear wicking fabrics. Natural fabrics, such as cotton, wool, and silk allow your skin to breathe and are a great choice for every day. When you’re exercising, synthetic fabrics like polyester or nylon pull sweat away from your skin so it evaporates more quickly to keep you cool and less pungent.
Go green. Adding wheatgrass, spinach, and other greens to your diet will increase your intake of chlorophyll. This green pigment in plants may have some deodorizing properties.
Chill out. Less stress can mean less sweat”especially the stinky kind. Meditation and yoga are great ways to quiet your mind, and a relaxing walk outdoors can ease anxiety.
Skip or limit these foods: Red meat, spices, garlic, onions, sugary foods, and alcohol all release compounds through the skin that can contribute to odor. Also, watch out for caffeinated beverages and spicy foods that may make you sweat more.
Minimize hot flashes and night sweats. We know, easier said than done, but here are some science-backed remedies that may help. And the more you can keep your cool, the less you’ll sweat and the less you’ll be doing the sniff test to make sure you’re not offending anyone.
Some treatments, such as prescription-strength deodorants and Botox to paralyze sweat glands, are available from medical professionals only. If you don’t find relief from excessive sweating and body odor, and they are interfering with your life, don’t hesitate to see a doctor. They can also check for other causes, such as thyroid issues like Graves’ disease.
If your body odor has a fruity or bleach-like scent, be sure to talk to your doctor. A fruity odor may be a sign of diabetes, and a bleach scent may indicate liver or kidney problems. Other accompanying symptoms you should watch out for include, enlarged thyroid, bulging eyes, vision problems, unintended weight loss, more frequent bowel movements, and trembling in hands and fingers. If you are experiencing any of these along with body odor, check with your doctor.
The information on the Gennev site is never meant to replace the care of a qualified medical professional. Hormonal shifts throughout menopause can prompt a lot of changes in your body, and simply assuming something is “just menopause” can leave you vulnerable to other possible causes. Always consult with your physician or schedule an appointment with one of Gennev’s telemedicine doctors before beginning any new treatment or therapy.
Maybe it’s been a few months and you were thinking, “oh, yay, finally no more UTIs,” but on your next trip to the bathroom, the burn and ache say otherwise.
Urinary tract infections (UTIs) are incredibly common among women. Some experts say half or more of all women will have at least one in their lifetime. Let’s discuss what you need to know about menopause and UTIs.
The most common UTIs are caused by the bacteria E. coli. Normally found in the gastrointestinal tract, E. coli can migrate from the anus to the vagina, hitching a ride on thong underwear or toilet paper used improperly (translation: wiping back to front).
Normally the urinary system can keep these invaders from getting a foothold, but if they get in in enough numbers, they can start to colonize and travel up the urethra, causing pain and burning, the urge to urinate, cloudy or bloody urine, and pelvic pain.
UTIs are annoying and painful, and having to get a prescription antibiotic isn’t ideal, but most UTIs are relatively simple to solve. The problems really begin when a woman gets rid of one infection, only to have it come back a few months later.
Recurrent UTIs as infections that return as are more than just annoying; they can really disrupt your life. If you’re having several UTIs in a year, it might be time to start looking for other causes.
Recurrent UTIs are very common among perimenopausal and post-menopausal women, so we talked to ob/gyn and Gennev Director of Health Dr. Rebecca Dunsmoor-Su about the causes and treatments of the ones that just won’t go away.
According to Dr. Rebecca, there are two main reasons women experience recurring UTIs: either the vaginal tissue and flora have changed, or there’s an anatomical issue that needs to be addressed. Both of these happen frequently in women in perimenopause and menopause. So let’s take them in turn:
A normal, healthy vagina is colonized by lactobacilli. They consume the glycogen our bodies no longer need and produce lactic acid which prevents other, harmful bacteria from invading the vagina.
In perimenopause, estrogen levels start declining. This causes the tissue of the vagina to thin and dry and changes the vaginal pH. Because lactobacilli require a very specific pH to survive and thrive, they may die off during this time in a woman’s life, leaving her much more vulnerable to infections.
If it’s a flora issue, says Dr. Rebecca, she usually counsels patients to consider estrogen or the MonaLisa Touch laser treatment. Both restore homeostasis, returning vaginal tissue to its pre-menopausal pH and allowing lactobacilli to recolonize.
“Estrogen” in this context means the topical ESTRACE cream, Dr. Rebecca says; generally for vaginal complaints, estrogen applied directly to the area in question appears to be more effective than estrogen taken orally. However, the estrogen needs to be at a higher dosage to work, so if you still have your uterus, you’ll need progesterone as well. Vagifem tablets and the Estring ring are low-dose, and while they may work fine for some, they may not provide enough estrogen to combat recurring UTIs in all women.
For those who can’t or prefer not to use hormones, there’s the MonaLisa Touch. The laser can rejuvenate vaginal tissue and increase blood flow to the area, bringing tissues back to their pre-menopausal condition. Once the tissues return to normal, the body’s pH returns, as does the glycogen the lactobacilli need to survive.
Hear our podcast with Dr. Rebecca about how the MonaLisa Touch works and why it’s a good option for many women in menopause.
One of these two treatments is generally necessary to handle the problem. According to Dr. Rebecca, taking a probiotic supplement isn’t particularly effective because the bacteria in the supplement don’t make it to the vaginal canal. Even if they did, the pH still wouldn’t be right for them to survive. Cranberry juice or extract may provide some relief, but more clinical studies need to be done to determine if it really does protect the bladder from bad bacteria.
The other UTIs, she says, are due to anatomical problems. Prolapse and weakened bladder muscles may stop the bladder from emptying completely in urination, and that can lead to recurrent UTIs.
As we age, tissue can weaken; if the tissue between the bladder and the vagina weakens, the bladder may bulge into the vagina, causing a prolapse or “cystocele.” If the bladder drops enough, it’s no longer in an ideal position for voiding completely. Bulges may form pockets where urine pools and doesn’t make it out.
If bladder muscles are weak, they don’t contract properly anymore, and again, a woman may not be able to empty her bladder completely.
The urine that isn’t expelled becomes a breeding ground for unhealthy bacteria, enough of the bad bacteria build up to overwhelm the good bacteria, and pretty soon, the woman finds herself with another UTI.
First, get a diagnosis from an ob/gyn, Dr. Rebecca says, so you know what’s actually happening. Then, if appropriate, a physical therapist may be able to help strengthen weak bladder and pelvic floor muscles. Medication can help you empty your bladder more completely, and if the problem is a prolapse, surgery might be your best bet.
Depending on the reason you have recurrent UTIs, there are a few things you can do to reduce your risk: schedule an appointment with a pelvic physical therapist for help with pelvic floor strengthening; stay hydrated so you’re using the bathroom every 2 as 4 hours; empty your bladder as completely as you can; pee immediately after intercourse; if your doc approves it, try Uqora for UTIs, take one dose of antibiotic before engaging in behavior that often triggers a UTI (like intercourse); and since it doesn’t hurt and might help, drink cranberry juice, if you like it, but watch the sugar.
Most women get a UTI at some point, and often once they’re over, they’re over. But if you’re suddenly having 3 or 4 UTIs in a year, that’s less common, and it might be time to check with your ob/gyn.
Dr. Rebecca advises you to have a culture done so you know what bacteria you’re dealing with. If it keeps coming back, you might have a resistant strain of bacteria that needs a different treatment, or perhaps you’ve just been taking the wrong medication. UTIs don’t go away on their own, so don’t wait to get help from a medical professional.
If you had or have recurrent UTIs, how did you handle it or how are you handling it? Leave a comment below, or let us know on Facebook or in Midlife & Menopause Solutions, our closed Facebook group.
“Productivity” and “re-productivity” are not the same thing, and they do not start and end together. Just because your body is wrapping up its reproductive time, briskly rubbing its hands and saying, “well, that’s that then” doesn’t mean you’re done producing things.
Too often, productivity is equated with youth, as though one were dependent on the other, and the only things we produce in midlife and beyond are complaints and increasing health care costs.
Nope.
You may be in or even through perimenopause and menopause, but you’re not done creating yet.
Maybe it’s menopause
For many women, menopause and after are times of enormous creativity. It’s possible that rush of creative power is rooted in hormones: Dr. Christiane Northrup has theorized that it may be due at least in part to high levels of oxytocin and prolactin, the “bonding hormones.” Add to that the fact that after the hormonal fluctuations of perimenopause, a woman’s body returns to relative stability when menopause is complete, allowing her to focus her full attention on other things.
Alternatively, perhaps it’s caused by a reduction in progesterone, the calming hormone. If your creation comes from a place of deep emotion, of passion, of fury “¦ those can be tough to fire up when you’re cozy in front of the fire with your sweetie and Abe the Labrador.
Maybe you’re born with it
Honestly, who cares where it comes from? Women in midlife often experience a freedom they haven’t felt before, or at least not since childhood. With the children mostly or entirely independent, careers humming along or wrapping up, finances reasonably stable, and best of all, a shiny, brand-new indifference to the opinions of others, midlife is the perfect time to indulge your creative side. For me, caring less about others’ opinions has been key to my own resurging creativity as I can write from a more honest place when the only voices in my head are my own and my characters’.
Our creative expression too often takes a back seat to other areas of our lives that speak with greater urgency: carving out time to write a short story or take photographs can seem incredibly self-indulgent when the house is a wreck and you have that big presentation to give on Monday.
But aging and menopause give us a little perspective: we understand that we serve others better when we serve ourselves as well “¦ maybe even first. As Menopause Goddess Lynette Sheppard puts it, “It’s important that we jump in with both feet, both arms, and a whole heart. We need it because it nourishes us.”
So. How will you begin or continue celebrating and nourishing your creative self? Maybe you’ll dust off your paints, dig out your journals, unpack your toe shoes or tap, get your kids’ science project off your potter’s wheel as it’s all good. Your muse is coming out of retirement.
Whatever medium or forum you use to express your creativity, we hope you’ll share it with us. Tell us what your book is about, link us to the website where can we see your art, shoot us your Etsy page, craft us some poetry in the comments, or give us your Instagram info so we can follow you.
As the poet Mary Oliver asks, so we ask you: